Scrubs

Perry Cox Quotes (Page 4)

Dr. Cox: What's your name?
Drew: Drew.
Dr. Cox: I'm taking an interest in you.
Drew: Was that good for me?
Denise: You know I don't care. Now grab me like a man.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: You're not medical students. You are all murders and assassins sent here to kill my patients.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sunny: Oh, he's finally gone. Talk about making a big deal over nothing, you know? I mean, Dr. Dorian was fine, but he was no better than any other doctor.
Dr. Cox: For the record, he was the best that ever came through this dump. John Dorian was the first and only doctor I ever met who cared as much as I do. And you can forget about him being a just and exceptional physician, because the fact of the matter is, he's a damn exceptional person. It's why people gravitated to him. It's why I did. He was my friend.
J.D. [appears from behind Cox]: Thank you, God. That - was - beautiful.
Dr. Cox: Oh, God, no.
J.D.: It's okay, Perry, you just said how you feel! Honestly, I am so full of your love right now, I literally could not take another drop. Brace yourself, I'm coming in.
[J.D. hugs Dr. Cox]
J.D.: You smell like a father figure.
Dr. Cox: Oh! Please stop.
J.D.: Mmmmmm...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jordan: Remember when my dog died, you told me he went to doggie hell? And then you told me my mom was going to go to doggy hell when she dies?
Cox: Because of her doggy face?
Jordan: Right!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jordan: What are you doing? The van to take us to the airport is downstairs.
Dr. Cox: It's called my job. It's that little thing I do 70 to 80 hours a week while you're eating, drinking, napping, spending, plucking, ignoring the children and singing rap tunes into a hairbrush.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: You need to hire a few more nurses
Cox: Look, Tammy, we don't have the money. If you want to go out and raise the cash yourself, feel free. Maybe you can sell your eggs to a fertility clinic. Or sell that beard of yours to a ridiculousness museum. Or better yet make a list of all the people that you drive insane and tell them for a nominal fee you'll never speak to them again. You, of course, offer them a monthly subscription at a reduced rate just to reel them in. And then after awhile of you not talking to you they'll forget just how annoying you are and they'll let their subscription run up and then bang.. that's when you show up at their house and you drive them insane all over again by speaking to them. And here's the kicker, when everyone's trying to resubscribe.. you lay it on them that the price is now quadruple. I'm predicting, and this is a low end guesstimate, you're looking at about a hundred million dollars a quarter
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox: Hello. If it's alright with everyone, I'd like to begin this morning's rounds with a joke. Denise.
Denise: Um, I don't really have one.
Dr. Cox: No. I meant that you were the joke.
Denise: Oh, good one.
Dr. Cox: Thanks. I thought of it this morning while I was watching you trying to jam a catheter into Mr. Hazelton.
Denise: Yeah, he was a screamer
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Mr. Francone has been in a coma for well over a year. His organs are starting to fail and he probably won't be with us very much longer. The most important thing to remember during his final hours here on Earth is do not ever come to me and ask me questions about how to treat him. He's a potato. If you do, my answer will always be the same. Sour cream, chives, and if I haven't had any protein that day, maybe just a sprinkling of some of those bacon bits
 • Rating: Unrated

[after stapling clothes to the wall in the form of a person...]
Jack: Hey guys, I finally got a brother!
Cox: He's either a genius or an idiot
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Jack [to J.D.'s baby]: Janus, you are one ugly baby, seriously
J.D: Did you actually teach your son to be mean to a baby?
Cox: Not just any baby, but your baby. Come here Jacky boy, you're going to get ten thousand jelly beans, I love you so much
J.D. They can both be so mean
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!