Scrubs

Perry Cox Quotes (Page 5)

J.D.: Your thoughts on the beard?
Cox: I like it. Of course, I'm always in favor of anything that covers parts of your face that were previously uncovered
J.D [quietly]: Yay, you hurt my feelings
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cox: Okay, before we get started today, who watches Deal or No Deal?
[guy raises hand]
Cox: Okay, you, out!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: (to Turk) Look, surgeons always want to slice people open whether it's the best option or not. No disrespect, but you're just not that bright, you have no idea how to do anything else. Unfortunately, sick people are also very, very stupid and almost always agree to anything that a blood-letting corpse carpenter, such as yourself, tells them. I simply stay in the room to make sure they make the right choice.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: (talking to his patients) Hello folks, I'm Dr. Christopher Turk. (He looks at Dr. Cox.)
Dr. Cox: You're right so far. Continue.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s narration: And then we saw something amazing. Dr. Cox said something nice to Dr. Kelso.
Dr. Cox: When you were the Chief, you were a jackass and a nightmare and I hated you a great deal.
Dr. Kelso: That's a good start.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox [to Turk]: Look, surgeons always want to slice people open whether it's the best option or not. No disrespect, but you're just not that bright, you have no idea how to do anything else. Unfortunately, sick people are also very, very stupid and almost always agree to anything that a blood-letting corpse carpenter, such as yourself, tells them. I simply stay in the room to make sure they make the right choice
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: I don't understand. If I'm the best surgeon here, how come you're always looking over my shoulder?
Dr. Cox: Oh give me a break, would you? Saying someone is "the best surgeon" is like saying someone is the smartest cast member of The Hills. Let's face it, it's just not that tough to float to the top of the surgical toilet
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Maddox: Looking for something?
Dr. Cox: Yes, my cloak of invisibility so I can avoid conversations with soulless dictators such as yourself. Unfortunately, it's really hard to find because, as the name suggests, it's invisible
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

# Dr. Cox: I am getting rid of Maddox. Who's in?
Janitor: I'm in. Ever since she fired me I've been moping around my apartment making barking sounds. I'm not crazy, I just need some human interaction and the barking makes the neighbors yell 'shut that damn thing up'. Then I can go over there with a bottle of scotch and apologize for Rusty, my imaginary echida. The only downside is that by the time Lady, my girlfriend, gets home, I'm too drunk to talk to her, much less make love. You've never pictured me as an organism that has sex, have you?
Dr. Cox: We have not, no.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox: How are we going to get rid of Maddox? Janitor, would you like to get your useless ideas out of the way first?
Janitor: Well thank you Perry. Off the top of my head I'd go reindeer stampede, astronaut attack, barbed wire chandelier, photoshop, poisonous sushi
 • Rating: Unrated

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