Perry Cox Quotes
J.D.'s Narration: Look at him, pretending like yesterday never happened. Well, if he thinks I'm gonna forgive him without so much as a-
Dr. Cox: Anyway newbie, the reason I was all bent outta shape yesterday...
J.D.: I accept.
Dr. Cox: Don't interrupt me. Come here. Pull that curtain. Mrs. Blitt over there, needs the TIPS procedure, no insurance. Yeah, well she can now look forward to a lifetime of encephalopathy and jaundice thanks to bottom-line Bob.
J.D.: Is it really that bad?
Dr. Cox: I hate Robert Kelso. I hate his family, I hate his friends, I hate the guy that cleans his vaguely racist little lawn jockey. Infact I hate anybody who even associates with him, is that clear?
That TIPS proceedure was for Mrs. Blitt down in 103. You see, she doesn't have insurance, Mr. Martinez on the other hand has great insurance. Should I talk slower or go get a nurse who speaks fluent moron?
Dr. Cox
J.D.: Thought you hated Kelso.
Dr. Cox: Oh, I do. And watching his face as I kick his worthless butt up and down this golf course every week is basically...well, it's the most fun I can have without being forced to cuddle afterwards.
I don't know if they taught you this in the land of fairies and puppy-dog tails, where you obviously, if not grew up, then at least spent most of your summers, but you're in the real world now. Nnnnn-kay?
Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Well, if she refuses dialysis, then there really is no ethical dilemma, is there?
J.D.: But what about our duty as doctors?
Dr. Cox: But what about our duty as doctors? Look. This is not about Mrs. Tanner's dialysis, this is about you. You're scared of death, and you can't be; you're in medicine for chrissakes. Sooner or later, you're going to realize that everything we do around here, everything is a stall. We're just trying to keep the game going, that's all. But, ultimately, it always ends up the same way
J.D.: Your thoughts on the beard?
Cox: I like it. Of course, I'm always in favor of anything that covers parts of your face that were previously uncovered
J.D [quietly]: Yay, you hurt my feelings
Cox: Okay, before we get started today, who watches Deal or No Deal?
[guy raises hand]
Cox: Okay, you, out!
Elliot: On the one hand, I know Dr. Kelso doesn't mean anything by it. And, okay, maybe I am kind of a sweetheart...
Dr. Cox: I'm sleeping.
Elliot: On the other hand, it just sounds so demeaning! You know?
Dr. Cox: Mother of God, you're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you.
Elliot: I mean, it's not like he's my grandpa or anything. Anyway, J.D. always tells me how you've helped him out...
Dr. Cox: Well, he obviously hasn't told you about my ear-flicking policy, has he. Look! This whole "groovy guidance counselor" thing you people seem to have working is a total fantasy. I'm not that guy, you can go and ask anybody. Now, you've got to leave me alone, or I'll punish you
Dr. Cox: Look, this guy's gonna need 40 MAQ's of KCL; and go ahead and grab me when you get the results.
J.D.: You got it.
Dr. Cox: Oh, and his TV is broken, so, when you two do start tagging each other, least you can do is wake him up and let him watch.
J.D.: So, nothing was going on last night between me and Elliot.
Dr. Cox: Good thing you still have your flower then
J.D.: I'm just a little lonely, you know; I guess 'cause I haven't really been hanging out with Turk since he's been dating Carla.
Dr. Cox: First of all, who's Turk? And don't answer. Look, if you have a medical question for me, I'm forced by hospital policy to answer you. However, if you ask me about a personal problem, I'm going to start doing this. [flicks J.D.'s ear]
J.D.'s narration: When you really lock in with a mentor, you start to understand the meaning behind their words.
Dr. Cox: You do whatever you want.
J.D.'s narration: Means: "Great idea!"
Dr. Cox: I'm, I'm just happy you haven't messed up yet today.
J.D.'s narration: Means: "You're really coming along as a doctor."
Dr. Cox: Don't. Ever. Touch me.
J.D.'s narration: Means: "Don't ever touch him"
