Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPopular Peter Griffin Quotes
Lois: (while Peter plays harmonica music) I accidentally backed over a kid in the grocery store parking lot. Peter, I'm serious. I ran right over the soft part of the face. I had to run away. I ditched the car and snuck on a passing train. I was so scared, I didn't get off until I was in the south. What'd you do today?
Peter: I pushed a boy behind your car so I could do all this harmonica stuff.
I want Hershey kiss nipples, and I want you to pay for them!
We're supposed to stick together! Like goatee guys at a barbecue!
Scumbag: Smells like this guy's already wet himself.
Peter: Don't flatter yourself--that was from this morning.
Says 'Glenn Quagmire.' But if you squint and imagine it says 'Peter Griffin,' it says 'Peter Griffin'!
Peter: I am going to the Clam and I am getting my booth back! And Meg, you're gay.
Meg: No, I'm not.
Peter: You like guys, right?
Meg: Yeah.
Peter: That's called being gay.
Peter: Fresh air is bad for a kid. Look at Michael J. Fox.
Lois: What?
Peter: I don't know.
Peter: I had an affair and I think we should talk about it.
Lois: Peter, jamming yourself into a grapefruit is not an affair.
I hate to sound like every woman ever, but I'm depressed.
Wow, Chicago--the San Francisco treat.
Lesbians have regular carpets, too, you pervs.
Peter: Let me help you! I'm great at finding stuff. Last night, I found Lois's g-spot!
Lois: No, he didn't!
Peter: I didn't think she was home.
