Popular Peter Griffin Quotes
Lois: How was your physical, Peter?
Peter: Good. Good. Good, yeah. Too good, as a matter of fact. Ya know what the doctor said? The doctor said I was too healthy. Too good of shape. Don't even know how, too good of shape.
Lois: You didn't go to your physical, did you?
Peter: Er, I did not.
[disappointedly] You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes ya feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah. You're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changin'. I like me. My kids like me. My friends like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.
"Keith Urban...Brett Favre....William H. Macy?"
Dennis Miller: I don't wanna go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowolf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first Battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenstrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate.
Peter: What the hell does rant mean?
Bill Clinton: All right, are you ready for another round of N.A.F.T.A
Lois Griffin: What does N.A.F.T.A. mean?
Bill Clinton: 'Nother Afternoon of F****** That Ass!
I don't know who you are, I don't know what you want. But what I do have is a particular lack of skills. I will never be able to find you.
That was the start of the dark times. The banks took our bars, our businesses, and then our homes. A change had to be made. A change only one man could make. I am The Windmaker. And I shoot monkeys now.
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually
Now I may be an idiot, but there's one thing I am not sir, and that sir, is an idiot.
"I was 18 and my body was firm from push-ups and sit-ups..."
Lois, I'm just warning you, if this movie turns me gay, I'm gonna start bringin' gay guys home. And I don't mean the classy "maybe they are, maybe they're not" gay guys, I mean those big "Oh my God, here they come, floatin' around, makin' noise" gay guys, not the fix up your house gay guys.
Peter: I'm making my own Red Bull! Lois can't stop me from experiencing the manic highs and lows my body demands.
Brian: Whoa, whoa you're adding kerosene? That's insane! That'll destroy your body, Peter!
Peter: Kerosene is fuel, Brian. Red Bull is fuel. Kerosene is Red Bull...
Brian: That drink will kill you, Peter.
Peter: Whatever kills me will make me stronger.