Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCPhil Dunphy Quotes
If you ain't white, you ain't right.
Just filling out the application to family camp. You don't win the 'Dirty Dancing' competition and not go back to defend your crown.
Haley: Dad, that was a stop sign.
Phil: I'll stop twice on the way back.
With all you do for me, including going to the gym four times a week to keep me interested, I got this.
Luke: Is that your cheerleading baton?
Phil: Not when you're on the business end of it!
You're worried about germs? I've seen you kiss a pigeon on the mouth.
Claire: Did you make the ladyfingers? Did you go to the gym?
Phil: Boy, you're really starting to sound like your old self.
Luke: Is that Mom's apron?
Phil: It's an apron.
Tell me it was about booze, cheating, physical abuse - no problem. I'm a monogamous social drinker and Claire only sleep-hits me.
Can you imagine? One minute you're happily married, the next minute you're completely by yourself.
Phil: I am completely on board your mother's horse and buggy to yesteryear. For the next week, I may as well be Amish. Jebediah Dunphy: Raisin' barns, witnessin' murders, making electric-fireplace hearths.
I see the great realtor Margaret Wilson is here, looking more curvaceous than ever. Talk about your balloon payments.
