I know it's hard to believe but I was actually a bit of a nerd back in the day. And it was suggested I was out of my league when I landed Claire, by Jay mostly. And my friends, and my parents...and Claire.

Luke: What's Zima?
Phil: Just a party in a bottle. Man that reminds me of some wild times.

Maybe we can send un-vitations, is that a thing?

Cam

Phil: You know how you can treasure special moments in your past that in no way diminish special moments in your present?
Claire: Yes sweetheart it's called having a memory.

Can I sit around an empty house and wait for someone? Baby I'm a realtor. I have a license for that.

Are you saying what I think you're saying? I'm Crocodile Dunphy?!

Gloria: How dumb do they think we are?
Phil: Sometimes Claire leaves me pictures instead of food instead of a shopping list.

Just a warning, I haven't shampooed professionally since college and that was only part-time to pay for my cheer gear.

Cam: You wanna tell me how you accidentally gave someone your key?
Mitchell: You wanna tell me why you spent all day sipping tequila out of some guy's navel?
Cam: You saw that?
Mitchell: I guessed!

Whoa that warmer drawer really works. It's like my mom's hugging my feet again.

I love film-making and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film and I love doing it by myself.

I used to make stuff for Claire all the time. I think my artistry was what locked her down.