Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

It's Luke's career day. I thought I'd offer the kids a chance to put their face on my body.

Phil: She's like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
Cam: With cuter hair.

Prepare to Phil the agony of Dunfeat! Both names!

Phil: It's coming from the future and it ain't pretty.
Haley: I don't understand, in the future I'm not pretty?

A wise and insightful old hippie, a Jeff Bridges old hippie.

Haley you're not quitting, you're resigning it sounds better.

Phil: What did I say about eating things for money?
Luke: Charge the most and people will think you're worth it.

There is no guy, I'm the guy.

Oh quick, nature's surefire sunburn remedy- aloe!

I'm not sure how that guy got to be a professor if he was stupid enough to dump you.

I should get going, my allergies are starting to cry.

Everybody who I did not create, get out of my house right now.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 309 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil
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