Their ship went down but their love lasted forever!

We're in my kitchen, you have to stop saying 'hooker!'

Well do you like this suit? I wouldn't know because all you said was that it was tight and not in a cool, black way.

Claire: It's a little tight.
Phil: Well the salesman said it was the style and he looked like a Mumford and Son so I think he would know.

Now that his hunnie gots her own money, daddy went and snagged himself some new threads girlll.

Phil: The universe punished me. I did something awful to a bunch of baby crows.
Manny: Actually it's not a bunch of crows, it's called a murder.
Phil: I know what I did!

Phil: Remember before we had kids and could just lie in bed all Saturday?
Claire: That's how we got them.
Phil: Why did I have to be so sexy?

Hey I see a couple of old people, this isn't one of those catheter commercials is it? Because if it gets too descriptive I'm gonna start to squirm. Oooh I just did it to myself.

Phil: Little heads up, there's no way I'm not crying at this wedding.
Claire: Phil you cried on the way here.

That's it a beautiful mind, harness that crazy into something positive.

Sometimes I don't know if I love how much I fear Claire or fear how much I love her.

Claire: Do you remember when summer meant fireflies, cut off shorts, and ice cream trucks?
Phil: Well we got one out of three!