When my dad is ready he gets to pick his own girlfriend, that's the big upside to your wife dying. Also not having to think before you speak.

I know that tone. You're making a point.

Phil: How low can you go?
Haley: I'm at a roller rink with my family on a Saturday night. I win!

You've just gotta tell him man to man, woman to man, you're very shapely.

Claire: You have dumb ideas.
Phil: Name one...that went on for awhile.

In this scenario he's the Tonya and I'm the Nancy!

It's Luke's career day. I thought I'd offer the kids a chance to put their face on my body.

Phil: She's like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
Cam: With cuter hair.

Prepare to Phil the agony of Dunfeat! Both names!

Phil: It's coming from the future and it ain't pretty.
Haley: I don't understand, in the future I'm not pretty?

A wise and insightful old hippie, a Jeff Bridges old hippie.

Haley you're not quitting, you're resigning it sounds better.