In this scenario he's the Tonya and I'm the Nancy!

It's Luke's career day. I thought I'd offer the kids a chance to put their face on my body.

Phil: She's like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
Cam: With cuter hair.

Prepare to Phil the agony of Dunfeat! Both names!

Phil: It's coming from the future and it ain't pretty.
Haley: I don't understand, in the future I'm not pretty?

A wise and insightful old hippie, a Jeff Bridges old hippie.

Haley you're not quitting, you're resigning it sounds better.

Phil: What did I say about eating things for money?
Luke: Charge the most and people will think you're worth it.

There is no guy, I'm the guy.

Oh quick, nature's surefire sunburn remedy- aloe!

I'm not sure how that guy got to be a professor if he was stupid enough to dump you.

I should get going, my allergies are starting to cry.