Haley you're not quitting, you're resigning it sounds better.

Phil: What did I say about eating things for money?
Luke: Charge the most and people will think you're worth it.

There is no guy, I'm the guy.

Oh quick, nature's surefire sunburn remedy- aloe!

I'm not sure how that guy got to be a professor if he was stupid enough to dump you.

I should get going, my allergies are starting to cry.

Everybody who I did not create, get out of my house right now.

I think I may have been being too sexy.

I'm sorry for dozens of things everyday that actually happen, if I start apologizing for things that don't happen how productive of a person would I be?

Don't ever ask me about my business Claire.

I know you guys like to go to mom because she's Mr. Tough Guy problem solver.

Phil: Is there some kind of dress code for Godparents?
Claire: You're not wearing a fedora Phil.