Prepare to Phil the agony of Dunfeat! Both names!

Phil: It's coming from the future and it ain't pretty.
Haley: I don't understand, in the future I'm not pretty?

A wise and insightful old hippie, a Jeff Bridges old hippie.

Haley you're not quitting, you're resigning it sounds better.

Phil: What did I say about eating things for money?
Luke: Charge the most and people will think you're worth it.

There is no guy, I'm the guy.

Oh quick, nature's surefire sunburn remedy- aloe!

I'm not sure how that guy got to be a professor if he was stupid enough to dump you.

I should get going, my allergies are starting to cry.

Everybody who I did not create, get out of my house right now.

I think I may have been being too sexy.

I'm sorry for dozens of things everyday that actually happen, if I start apologizing for things that don't happen how productive of a person would I be?