The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Ralph Wiggum Quotes
Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer, and I am the...um...What cures cancer?
Chief Wiggum
Lou: There's a couple of guys fighting at the Aquarium Chief.
Chief Wiggum: Do they still sell those frozen bananas?
Lou: I think so.
Chief Wiggum: Lets roll.
(Squishing an ice cream to his forehead) I'm a unitard!
The doctor said I wouldnt have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there.
Cheif Wiggum: Looks like you bought yourself a lottery ticket...to jail!
Lou: He's unconscious, sir.
Chief Wiggum: Ah, they can still hear things.
(inside a very large hole)
Mayor Quimby: Mmm, I guess we're not gonna find anything.
Otto: Well how we gonna get outta here?
Homer: We'll dig our way out!
Chief Wiggum: No, no, dig up, stupid!
Miss Hoover: You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be (Spells on blackboard) psychosomatic.
Ralph: Does that mean you're crazy?
Janey: No, that means she was faking it.
Miss Hoover: No, actually, it was a little of both.
(about Donny) When he grows up, I want to be like me!
(Answers phone) Uh, no you've got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.
I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers.
Clouds are God's sneezes.
Principal Skinner: Ralph Wiggum will be standing in for your lectern.
Ralph: I'm a furniture.
