Mrs. Marsh: Did you find it?
Mr. Marsh: Give me a second would you.
Mrs. Marsh: Don't snap at me.
Mr. Marsh: I didn't snap at you!
Mrs. Marsh: You snapped at me!
Mr. Marsh: Whatever.
Mrs. Marsh: Whatever? In 15 years you've never said whatever to me.
Mr. Marsh: I don't want to fight I'm sorry.
Mrs. Marsh: I'm sorry too.
Mr. Marsh: Hey, I think I found it.
Mrs. Marsh: That's not it you idiot.
Mr. Marsh: HEY BACK OFF (beep)!
Mrs. Marsh: (Gasps) You just said the "C" word!
Mr. Marsh: ........Did I?

(The Marshes are discussing Stan's essay assignment)
Stan: Not Mr. Garrison, Mom, he's a sick weirdo.
Randy: Yeah it's true, he is.

Mrs. Marsh: You mean Stanley's missing?
Doctor: No, no, he's not missing. We justcan't seem to find him at this moment.

Randy: Well, ya see, we had Stan and his friends play with a kid who already had chickenpox so they could catch it.
Dr. Doctor: Oh wowyou didoh wowyou guys suck.

I can't believe you boys gave us little rascals.

Randy: Wait a second. Aren't you Stan's little friend?
Cartman: (slower) Sir, step out of the car, please.
Randy: (steps out) Yeah. You're the one who always plugs up the toilet at our house.

Randy: How does it feel to be a hundred and two, Paps?
Grandpa: Shoot me!
Sharon: Make a wish, Grandpa...
Grandpa: I wish I were dead!
Randy: That's our silly Grandpa!
Grandpa: I'm not kidding, God Dammit! I really want to die!

Randy Marsh: I think I'm getting that stomach flu you gave me.
Mr. Garrison: It's that little Kenny bastard that gave it to me.
(the mayor exits the porta-potty)
Randy: Hey, mayor. Were you making gravy in there?
Mayor: I just gave birth to a brown baby boy.

South Park Quotes

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron