Randy Marsh Quotes
Stan: Dad, they tried to shoot at us!
Randy: Not now, Stan.
- Permalink: Dad, they tried to shoot at us! Not now, Stan.
Stan: (whining) I don't want to go to this stupid party!
Randy: Come on, Stan, you're gonna have a great time.
Stan: No, you guys are going to have a great time. Whenever there's a party, the adults get to hang out and have fun while the kids spend the night locked in the basement, eating stale pretzels.
- Permalink: I don't want to go to this stupid party! Come on, Stan, you're...
Gerald: Just because we shared an intimate moment in the hot tub, I'm not going to let it-
Randy: We did not share and intimate moment, okay? That makes it sound gay!
- Permalink: Just because we shared an intimate moment in the hot tub, I'm no...
Man #1: Well, you know what I heard, I heard that he's gay.
Man #2: Oh, is he really?
Randy: Who did you hear is-is gay?
Man: Ricky Martin, the singer.
- Permalink: Well, you know what I heard, I heard that he's gay. Oh, is he ...
You can't just hang out with your buddy, Kyle, all the time. People will think you guys are, you know, funny.
- Permalink: You can't just hang out with your buddy, Kyle, all the time. Peo...
Jakov: THANKS FOR INVITING ME TO THE GAME YOU GUYS!
Randy: No problem, Jakov.
Jakov: GO NINERS! NINERS!
Gerald: We're cheering for the Broncos, Jakov!
(Men watching game)
Jakov: DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT? I WATCHED THIS RABBIT, IT'S A BROWN RABBIT, AND GUESS WHAT, IT TOOK DOOKEY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
Randy: Hey, Jakov, do you mind if you could buy some pretzels for us.
Jakov: OK! Do you have money?
Gerald: Here and don't go to the store down the block, go to the Fairplay place four miles from here, they have better pretzels.
Jakov: OKAY! (trips) OOPS!
Mr. Mackey: Jakovasaurs kinda piss me off, mkay?
- Permalink: THANKS FOR INVITING ME TO THE GAME YOU GUYS! No problem, Jakov...
Randy: Mayor! I have it. I found out why people spontaneously combust.
Mayor: [over the phone] Why?
Randy: It's too complicated to explain over the phone.
[Cut to clipboard that says:]
Boyfriend == > Death
Girlfriend == > Death
- Permalink: Mayor! I have it. I found out why people spontaneously combust. ...
Randy: Stan, go live with Kyle's family.
Stan: No dad, Kyle's dad sucks. He can't even get a nerection.
Randy: (chuckles) Really?
- Permalink: Stan, go live with Kyle's family. No dad, Kyle's dad sucks. He...
(Randy, after having been shunned by the town, is carrying the Micheal Angelo's "David" style statue of himself like Jesus carried the cross while being pelted with rocks )
Randy: Mr. Garrison, Mr. Garrison! You've got to help me!
Mr. Garrison: I, I do not know you, sir.
- Permalink: Mr. Garrison, Mr. Garrison! You've got to help me! I, I do not...