Mrs. Marsh: Did you find it?
Mr. Marsh: Give me a second would you.
Mrs. Marsh: Don't snap at me.
Mr. Marsh: I didn't snap at you!
Mrs. Marsh: You snapped at me!
Mr. Marsh: Whatever.
Mrs. Marsh: Whatever? In 15 years you've never said whatever to me.
Mr. Marsh: I don't want to fight I'm sorry.
Mrs. Marsh: I'm sorry too.
Mr. Marsh: Hey, I think I found it.
Mrs. Marsh: That's not it you idiot.
Mr. Marsh: HEY BACK OFF (beep)!
Mrs. Marsh: (Gasps) You just said the "C" word!
Mr. Marsh: ........Did I?

(The Marshes are discussing Stan's essay assignment)
Stan: Not Mr. Garrison, Mom, he's a sick weirdo.
Randy: Yeah it's true, he is.

Mrs. Marsh: You mean Stanley's missing?
Doctor: No, no, he's not missing. We justcan't seem to find him at this moment.

Randy: Well, ya see, we had Stan and his friends play with a kid who already had chickenpox so they could catch it.
Dr. Doctor: Oh wowyou didoh wowyou guys suck.

I can't believe you boys gave us herpes...you little rascals.

Randy: Wait a second. Aren't you Stan's little friend?
Cartman: (slower) Sir, step out of the car, please.
Randy: (steps out) Yeah. You're the one who always plugs up the toilet at our house.

Randy: How does it feel to be a hundred and two, Paps?
Grandpa: Shoot me!
Sharon: Make a wish, Grandpa...
Grandpa: I wish I were dead!
Randy: That's our silly Grandpa!
Grandpa: I'm not kidding, God Dammit! I really want to die!

Randy Marsh: I think I'm getting that stomach flu you gave me.
Mr. Garrison: It's that little Kenny bastard that gave it to me.
(the mayor exits the porta-potty)
Randy: Hey, mayor. Were you making gravy in there?
Mayor: I just gave birth to a brown baby boy.

South Park Quotes

Stan: Hey Cartman, how come the birthday invitation you gave me says "Green Megaman."
Kyle: Yeah, mine says "Red Megaman."
Cartman: Right, that's what your supposed to get me for my birthday.
Stan: DUDE!?!?! You're not supposed to tell people what to give you for your birthday!
Kyle: Yeah, that's weak.
Cartman: Look it's very simple guys. "Green Megaman" goes with "Red Megaman" and "Yellow Megaman" to make the "Ultra Mega Megaman." You have to have all 3 or it doesn't work, see?
Stan: Up yours Cartman, I'll get you whatever the hell I want.
Cartman: Ohh!!! so maybe you don't want to have any of my moms Cake, Pie, and Ice cream then.
Stan: Oh "Gre..Green Megaman" it is.
Cartman: Now as you can see Kenny, you are to get me "Yellow Megaman," that's because the "Yellow Megaman" is the cheapest one and I know how poor your family is.
(Damien walks to table)
Stan: Hey!?!?! what do you think you're doing new kid?
Cartman: Yeah, you can't sit with us weirdo.
Damien: Infidel's!!!! I will turn you all into "Beasts of Burden"!
Kyle: You can't sit with us new kid, go find another table!
(Damien goes and sits with Pip)
Cartman: (sighs) Anyway Kenny, "Yellow Megaman" is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments in a year, or two.
(Stan, Kyle, and Cartman laugh. Kenny punches Cartman)
Cartman: AYYY!!!!

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman