How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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I am never gonna have closure. Closure doesn't exist.

OK, if you were new in town and just ingested an eighth of a sandwich where would you go?

Babies are scary, OK? They have giant eyes, and come on, the soft spot? If there's gonna be a self-destruct button, at least hide it somewhere it won't accidently get pressed!

Desperation Day had come and gone and you have neither gone nor come.

So that's it? A couple of white Urkels offer you sausages and you're gone?

If? Ted those kids jumped into a painting and chased a cartoon fox around for fifteen minutes. Spoon full of sugar? Grow up.

I WISH I was the office slut.

You're looking at the new coin flip bimbo, POW POW POW POW POW.

The first Currency rotation Specialist went on to be a semifinalist on The Bachelor and then she lost like a hundred pounds on The Biggest Loser and now she's totally winning Celebrity Rehab.

Ted: Robin have you forgotten your new year's resolution?
Robin: I am never going to drink again...
Ted: No before that.
Robin: I am going to finish this entire bottle tonight.
Ted: No before that.

Oh, do you take One to be your lawfully wedded wife? Oh god I'm freaking out why did I chose Ted to be my best man?

Robin: I'm so sorry, you must think I'm totally disgusting.
Marshall: I totally do.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 290 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney