I am never gonna have closure. Closure doesn't exist.

OK, if you were new in town and just ingested an eighth of a sandwich where would you go?

Babies are scary, OK? They have giant eyes, and come on, the soft spot? If there's gonna be a self-destruct button, at least hide it somewhere it won't accidently get pressed!

Desperation Day had come and gone and you have neither gone nor come.

So that's it? A couple of white Urkels offer you sausages and you're gone?

If? Ted those kids jumped into a painting and chased a cartoon fox around for fifteen minutes. Spoon full of sugar? Grow up.

I WISH I was the office slut.

You're looking at the new coin flip bimbo, POW POW POW POW POW.

The first Currency rotation Specialist went on to be a semifinalist on The Bachelor and then she lost like a hundred pounds on The Biggest Loser and now she's totally winning Celebrity Rehab.

Ted: Robin have you forgotten your new year's resolution?
Robin: I am never going to drink again...
Ted: No before that.
Robin: I am going to finish this entire bottle tonight.
Ted: No before that.

Oh, do you take One to be your lawfully wedded wife? Oh god I'm freaking out why did I chose Ted to be my best man?

Robin: I'm so sorry, you must think I'm totally disgusting.
Marshall: I totally do.

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted