Favorite Ron Swanson Quotes
Son, there's no wrong way to consume alcohol.
Leslie: Ron will show you around.
Ron: Um, right this way is the exit.
Ben: Today is Leslie’s last day as a counselor, so everyone needs to be extra supportive.
Ron: Already done. When I walked past her this morning, I gave her a kind nod.
What happened to the steaks that were in there when they closed? (tearily) Do you think they got eaten?
Tom, we're already late. Now be a man and sit on that girl's lap!
I am off to have a mid-morning pre-lunch with my lady friend, but I will be back in time for lunch.
I'll represent myself as I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions.
Old Woman #1: I told you so. It's Duke Silver.
Old Woman #2: Duke, can I have your autograph? I love your music.
Ron: You're mistaken, ladies. Move along.
Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.
Ron: An hour ago an entire fireball consumed my entire face and it was far preferable to spending another second with you.
Tammy: Tell that to your pants tent.
Here. I didn't know what to bring you, so I just got some magazines and lipstick. Woman stuff.
I never thought I would say this to you son, but you may be over thinking this.
