Parks and Recreation

Ron Swanson Quotes (Page 19)

Ron: After I got home, I drank six more glasses of whiskey and then I finished crafting this mall harp, using a bandsaw, a spokeshave and an oscillating spindle sander.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Swansons have a preternaturally high tolerance for alcohol. My old man used to put Wild Turkey on his cornflakes.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: I think the entire government should be privatized. Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks. Everything operated by tokens. Drop in a token, go on the swing set. Drop in another token, take a walk. Drop in a token, look at a duck.
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Phil: Were you aware that all the entertainment and food was provided by rec center teachers?
Ron: Would I have stayed if I knew that?
Phil: I don't know. Would you have?
Ron: Would you have?
Phil: No. I wouldn't have. Did you hear Leslie make any promises?
Ron: What constitutes a promise?
Phil: A quid pro quo.
Ron: Oh. Do you know Latin?
Phil: OK. Thank you, Ron.
Ron: Are we done?
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Ron: If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?
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Ron: How many courses will there be?
Leslie: Three
Ron: Hmm?
Leslie: Four.
Ron: Hmm.
Leslie: Not including dessert.
Ron: So five courses.
Leslie: Yes, now it will be five courses.
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Ron [to Tom]: I wanna punch you in the face so bad right now.
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Ron: OK good, because I have to run a public forum, supervise the maintenance crews and teach crafts at the senior center. Simultaneously.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: We can't have raccoons for the Christmas thing. They'll hunt the kids for sport.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: My name is Ron. You don't need to know my last name. Whoever wants to talk, go ahead and we'll be out of here in a tight fifteen.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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