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Swansons have a preternaturally high tolerance for alcohol. My old man used to put Wild Turkey on his cornflakes.

I think the entire government should be privatized. Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks. Everything operated by tokens. Drop in a token, go on the swing set. Drop in another token, take a walk. Drop in a token, look at a duck.

I wanna punch you in the face so bad right now.

OK good, because I have to run a public forum, supervise the maintenance crews and teach crafts at the senior center. Simultaneously.

We can't have raccoons for the Christmas thing. They'll hunt the kids for sport.

My name is Ron. You don't need to know my last name. Whoever wants to talk, go ahead and we'll be out of here in a tight fifteen.

There's a bunch of messages waiting for you about a bunch of things I don't understand.

Take it down a notch. You already won your Oscar, DiCaprio.

Tom-cat, pull up a mouth. This buffet is unstoppable.

Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt of the Earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field. Your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopeses, but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.

Looking at her, I feel like she might be the perfect spooning size for me.

Ron: This seems like none of our business.
Leslie: Be supportive, OK? Don't be all like, "No. I don't want to. I am a guy and I like fire, and playing hockey and eating meat. No, no says I."
April: That was a really good Ron.
Leslie: Thank you.

Displaying quotes 217 - 228 of 255 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

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