Kelly: [imitating Cookie Monster] My name is Kevin I'm an accountant. See? I did the voice!
Ryan: It's a little derivative.
Kelly: But parody's always derivative.
Ryan: It's not organic. Do you know what I mean?

Meredith: Stop fighting! Just on St. Patrick's Day okay? Just one, perfect day a year. No hassles. No problems. No kids.
Ryan: Why no kids?
Kelly: Yeah where are your kids?
Meredith: Nope. Uh uh. Not today!

Ryan: Did you see Saw?
Dwight: Of course I seesaw, Mose and I seesaw all the time.

Michael: Ryan come here!
Ryan: Whoa, whoa.
Michael: Come on, come on.
Ryan: I'm doing something over here.
Michael: Ahhh... Ho ho ho! Come on I need this. Come over here!
Ryan: What are you talking about?
Michael: Just sit down!
Ryan: No no no.

Dwight: It is time to unveil the tree.
Oscar: Hey, Rockefeller Center!
Jim: Yeah.
Ryan: Uh, I have actually been to Rock Center, and this is nothing like that.
Jim: This is all we have.
Ryan: Ugh.

Ryan: Okay. So, um. Listen. I know about your diabolical plan.
Dwight: What?! "Diabolical plan?" I wouldn't even know how to begin-
Ryan: [holds up My Diabolical Plan by Dwight K. Schrute] I found a copy of it in the copier tray.
Dwight: So what do you want.
Ryan: I want the same thing you want. I want to take Jim Halpert down. I want in.

Andy: I'm so jealous right now.
Michael: Hey, you know who you shouldn't be jealous of. Yourself. Because you're invited, and you're invited, and you're invited, and you, you and you and you, and you--
Limo driver: Car seats eight.
Michael: What?
Limo driver: The car seats eight.
Michael: The limo seats eight.
Michael: Okay. Then Jim and Pam. And Ryan plus a guest.
Jim and Pam: No thanks.
Ryan: I'll use it when you're done.

Jim: Let me show you what I mean. Your new office. How great is that, right? For a job well done, well, not done.
Ryan: I will, uh, I will do my work, right now. I will stay late tonight.
Jim: Right.
Ryan: Um, I'm very sorry. About everything.
Jim: You're a good kid. You know what, it gets bigger once you're in there. Enjoy.
Ryan: Is there Internet?

Jim: I just figured you needed a place where you could concentrate. And not be bothered by... bothering people.
Ryan: Okay.

Ryan: Do you love her, or do you love the idea of her?
Creed: I don't know man. I just don't know.

Michael. Well, well, well, what is this contraption, I do declare?!
Oscar: It's my Blackberry, Michael. I'm trying to get updates on the company.
Michael: Who's Michael? I'm Caleb Crawdad, I do declare!
Ryan: You don't have to keep saying 'I do declare.' Every time you say something, it means you're declaring it.

Ryan: Hey, quick question. Are you scared?
Michael: Never. About what? A little. What are you talking about?
Ryan: We heard about the punch.
Michael: What punch?
Kelly: Pam. She's gonna punch the crap out of your face after work.
Michael: I'm pretty sure we said slap.
Kelly: No. It's a punch. And Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now.
Ryan: I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen. Do you?
Michael: I... umm... I'm good.
Ryan: Alright. See you there.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 160 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight
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