Michael: [hands Ryan a soda] There you are, my friend.
Ryan: Oh, thanks, man.
Michael: Pamela.
Pam: Thanks, Michael.
Michael: Yep.

Michael: Someone is returning! He started his own company, and now he's back. Who could it be? I'll give you a hint. He is a man. A man you have missed with all your heart. A man who has ruined all other men for you. Who is it?
Ryan: [whispering] Who is it?
Pam: [whispering] Who is it?
Michael: [whispering] It's Michael Scott. [applause; Michael jumps through sign] Hold it up. Conference room, five minutes.

David: So you've thought it over, yes, and you accept our offer. We can finally put this whole thing behind us? Hmm?
Michael: No.
Pam: Can you give us another minute please?
David: Yeah.
Charles: Oh, okay.
Pam: Michael.
Ryan: How could you do this to me, Michael? You just cost me $60,000.
Pam: Why are you assuming you'd get the whole thing?
Michael: It's a lot of money, okay. But we need money coming in every week. We need jobs. Wouldn't you rather have a fishing pole than a fish?
Ryan: I would rather have $60,000, honestly.

David: Okay, now I don't know that I can get this. I do have to go to the board for approval. How's about $60,000. Hmm? $60,0000. Michael?
Michael: [stutters] We'll have to talk-
Charles: What?
Ryan: We'll have to talk about this.
Pam: Mm-hmm.
Michael: Just amongst ourselves.
David: Okay, yes. Please take the room. Be right outside. Take your time.
Michael: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Pam: $60,000.
Michael: We are so rich.
Pam: Are you kidding me?

David: Michael, in order to expedite these negotiations, we are prepared to make you a very generous offer.
Michael: And we are prepared to reject that offer.
Ryan: Michael, you haven't even heard-
Michael: Never accept their first offer. What is your second offer?
David: $12,000.
Michael: Are you kidding me? That is insultingly low. I don't even want to hear what your first offer was.

Michael: Oh, I'm really worried that I'm going to say it.
Pam: No, Michael.
Michael: Ah...
Ryan: No, man. You're- you're fine.
Pam: We have to come from a position of strength.
Michael: I'm good, I'm good.
Ryan: Just put it out of your mind.
Michael: It is. I'm good.

Ryan: Okay, so you are not going to reveal in any way that we're broke.
Michael: Of course not.
Ryan: That we're having any problem at all.
Michael: Nope, nope, nope.
Pam: Just to reiterate, none of us is going to say anything that might indicate that we are going broke.
Michael: Right, right. There is no way in hell that I am going to say that we're broke.

Michael: How much can we afford to pay a delivery guy?
Financial Guy: Well, if these numbers you gave me are correct--
Michael: They are correct, sir.
Financial Guy: Then you can't afford to pay him anything.
Michael: Okay. A lame attempt at humor. Swing and a miss.
Financial Guy: Your prices are too low.
Michael: Lowest in town.
Financial Guy: Why do you think Staples and Dunder Mifflin can't match your prices?
Pam: Corporate greed?
Ryan: Look, our price model is fine. I reviewed the numbers myself. Over time with enough volume, we become profitable.
Financial Guy: Yeah, with a fixed cost pricing model that's correct.
Ryan: Yeah.

Michael: You know what we need? We need some couches in here.
Ryan: Michael, we should really consider getting a delivery guy.
Michael: Oh, you know what you would love? Is if we built a loft.
Pam: Why would I love that? Can we afford a delivery guy?
Michael: Like in a dorm room. You put your desk underneath, you have your loft up top. You can sleep up top.
Pam: Yeah, I know what a loft is.
Ryan: Most dorm rooms don't even have that.
Michael: Most do in the magazines.
Ryan: Let's see what a delivery guy costs.
Michael: We should look into that. Or we just go for the loft.

Ryan: We've been making 5:00 AM deliveries for a couple weeks now. Ever since I've gotten clean there's something about fresh morning air that... just really makes me sick.

Pam: And I guarantee, that you will be satisfied! 'Cause your satisfaction is our guarantee! We guarantee it. We look forward to doing business with you too. Thank you Russell.
Michael: Yes!
Pam: I made a sale!
Ryan: Oh!
Michael: You did!
Pam: Oh!
Michael: Oh yeah!
Ryan: We did it!
Michael: She did it!
Michael: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Michael: Get your free pancakes. They are delicious. They are nutritious. They are complimentary. Young sir, would you like a free pancake?
Ryan: I'm texting. I don't want to get my fingers sticky.
Michael: Ryan, enough with the texting machine. Come on. And tuck in your shirt, you're the face of this company.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 160 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight
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