Ryan: Do you love her, or do you love the idea of her?
Creed: I don't know man. I just don't know.

Michael. Well, well, well, what is this contraption, I do declare?!
Oscar: It's my Blackberry, Michael. I'm trying to get updates on the company.
Michael: Who's Michael? I'm Caleb Crawdad, I do declare!
Ryan: You don't have to keep saying 'I do declare.' Every time you say something, it means you're declaring it.

Ryan: Hey, quick question. Are you scared?
Michael: Never. About what? A little. What are you talking about?
Ryan: We heard about the punch.
Michael: What punch?
Kelly: Pam. She's gonna punch the crap out of your face after work.
Michael: I'm pretty sure we said slap.
Kelly: No. It's a punch. And Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now.
Ryan: I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen. Do you?
Michael: I... umm... I'm good.
Ryan: Alright. See you there.

Creed: I vant to sell you blood!
Ryan: That's really not the trend in vampires right now.

Dwight: Where'd you get that mallard?
Kelly: What the hell is a mallard?
Dwight: THAT!
Kelly: Oh! Professor Damon D. Duck! Jim gave him to me.
Dwight: I gave that to him as a gift. I'm taking that back.
Kelly: If you take it back I'll scream.
Dwight: I'll give you five bucks for it.
Ryan: Twenty.
Dwight Schrute: Ten.
Ryan: Deal.
Kelly: You're so cool.
Ryan: This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas.

Michael: Let's get back to the matter at hand...
Pam: Whatever. You know. Sleep with my mom, sleep with everyone's mom!
Ryan: Whoa!! That's my mom you're talking about!

Kevin: Whoa, where'd you get that hat?
Ryan: I'd rather not say.

Michael: What you people don't know, about business I could fill a book with.
Ryan: Then do it.
Michael: What.
Ryan: Write a book.
[cut to Michael in his office]
Michael: The Fundamentals of Business by Michael Scott. Over one billion sold. More than the Bible. I'm not surprised. Chapter one...

You know it's a myth women have to gain more than nine pounds in a pregnancy. Look at these actresses, some of them lose weight.

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