South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralFavorite Sharon Marsh Quotes
Dr. Chinstrap: If they don't, it'll be the end of Europe as we know it.
Sharon: Why?
Dr. Chinstrap: Because.
Newscaster: The spontaneous combustion problem escalates as more and more people go back to holding in all their farts. Meanwhile, the ozone layer continues to deplete as others refuse to hold in their farts for fear of combustion. As we all know, the cause for all of this is Randy Marsh, the son of a bitch who calls himself a scientist. We caught up with Mr. Marsh earlier today and he had this to say:
Randy Marsh: Uhh, I, I don't know what to say--
(Cuts back to the newscaster.)
Newscaster: What an asshole! I hate that guy and so do you! And now onto the weather! It' f(beep)king hot! Thanks to Randy Marsh; son of a bitch.
Randy Marsh: Hey, if you watch another guy masturbate, does that make you gay?
Jimbo: What!?
Randy: Well, I just, I have this buddy, uh, he sat and watched this other guy play with himself.
Guest: Well, let's go kick his ass.
(singing to Stan) Hush little baby, don't say a word, momma's gonna buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird don't sing, momma's gonna bury it in the backyard
Sharon: Just because an idea is over convoluted and complex doesn't make it cool. Going into multiple dream levels sounds like a really stupid idea.
Cobb: You don't get it because you're not smart enough.
Mrs. Marsh: Did you find it?
Mr. Marsh: Give me a second would you.
Mrs. Marsh: Don't snap at me.
Mr. Marsh: I didn't snap at you!
Mrs. Marsh: You snapped at me!
Mr. Marsh: Whatever.
Mrs. Marsh: Whatever? In 15 years you've never said whatever to me.
Mr. Marsh: I don't want to fight I'm sorry.
Mrs. Marsh: I'm sorry too.
Mr. Marsh: Hey, I think I found it.
Mrs. Marsh: That's not it you idiot.
Mr. Marsh: HEY BACK OFF (beep)!
Mrs. Marsh: (Gasps) You just said the "C" word!
Mr. Marsh: ........Did I?
Stan: I think something might be wrong with dad.
Sharon: Duh, you think?
Sharon: Stanley, do you know why we grounded you for a month?
Stan: No.
Randy: Beating off the dog is never appropriate when we have company over. (glances at Sharon) I mean EVER! Beating off the dog is never appropriate ever!
Mrs. Marsh: You mean Stanley's missing?
Doctor: No, no, he's not missing. We justcan't seem to find him at this moment.
Randy: Looks like she had a heart attack in the middle of the night.
Grandpa Marsh: Oh, no wonder she didn't say 'Good night'.
Randy: Ew!
Sharon: Stanley look who's here, Aunt Flo.
Aunt Flo: Hello Stanley, remember me?
Stan: Hi Aunt Flo.
Sharon: Now Stanley, Aunt Flo only visits once a month. Be nice.
Close your eyes and cover your ears Billy! Remember you're a man!
Grandpa Marsh
