South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralFavorite Sharon Marsh Quotes
Grandpa: Why the hell do you wanna take these boys to see that fufu French theater crap? You're gonna turn them into poofders!
Sharon: Dad, Stanley needs to see the arts!
Grandpa Marsh: Well he doesn't need to see a bunch of frogs prance around in tights and makeup wrapping their peckers around each other's faces!
Randy: How does it feel to be a hundred and two, Paps?
Grandpa: Shoot me!
Sharon: Make a wish, Grandpa...
Grandpa: I wish I were dead!
Randy: That's our silly Grandpa!
Grandpa: I'm not kidding, God Dammit! I really want to die!
Grandpa Marsh: That grandma's quite a nice piece of ass.
Randy: Ew, dad! Not in front of Stanley.
Sharon: Hey Stan, I bought you more of that all natural toothpaste.
Stan: You mean that stuff that's taste like ass and doesn't fight cavities?
Sharon: Yup.
Shelly: Mom, what's up dad's ass?
Sharon: It's a long story, Shelly. Let's just say you father has a lot up his ass right now.
Sharon: Stanley, what the hell are you doing?
Stan: I'm beating off the dog.
Mr. Garrison: Nothing ever went wrong in this town before that evil Korn band showed up.
Sharon Marsh: Well I say we go find them and kick their devil-worshipping butts out of town!
Sharon: Okay, boys, that's it. You have to go now.
Stan: No no, it's okay, Mom. We, we can't go to baseball practice 'cause Kyle has cancer.
Mr. Garrison: Now we can sell all their homes and become millionares.
Guys: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Jimbo: But then you had us all do all that for nothing, don't you see if you get rich selling these homes then there'd still be rich people in South Park.
Randy Marsh: Yeah, you'll become what you hate.
Mr. Garrison:........Yeah but at least I got rid of all those damn ni[South Park ending theme]
Principal: Hello, boys.
Stan: Wait, what's going on here?
Kyle: Alright look, we don't know for sure why Cartman is ditching school, but it has something to do with abortions.That's all we know.
Mr. Mackey: You didn't do anything wrong, boys; We just need to talk to you. Have a seat.
(Stan and Kyle sit down)
Mr. Mackey: Well boys, your little friend, Kenny, went to the hospital last night, m'kay? And well...he's pretty sick.
Kyle: Kenny's sick?
Stan: Well, how sick?
Chef: Children, Kenny has been diagnosed with a terminal disease.
Stan: But the doctor's are gonna make him better, right?
Sharon: Oh, dear.
Stan But mom, that's what hospitals are for, they can make him better.
Sharon: Oh, Randy.
Randy: They don't think so, Stanley. Your friend is terminally ill, and that means--well son...that means he's gonna be going to Heaven soon.
Kyle: Wait, Kenny's going to die?
Gerald: He might, Kyle.
Stan: But he's our f-f-friend.
Mr. Mackey: We know, and that's why he's going to need you boys to be strong for him, m'kay? He needs you now, more then ever.
Stan: No! This can't happen! Kenny can't die! Kenny can't die!
(Stan begins sobbing into his dad's shoulder)
Sharon: Stanley look who's here, Aunt Flo.
Aunt Flo: Hello Stanley, remember me?
Stan: Hi Aunt Flo.
Sharon: Now Stanley, Aunt Flo only visits once a month. Be nice.
Oh Stanley what have you done, baby!? What have you done? Shh, It's okay, hun, it's okay! You're such a good boy, Mommy's little angel! Now don't worry, Stanley, Mommy's gonna hide the body! Nobody's gonna take my baby away! I've got such a handsome boy!
</i> Sharon
