Sheldon Cooper Quotes (Page 53)
Season 1, Episode 10: "The Loobenfeld Decay"
Leonard: How long is [Leo] going to stay here?
Sheldon: He's a homeless drug addict, Leonard. Where's he going to go? Boy, you have a lot to learn about lying
• Rating: Unrated
Sheldon [knocking on Penny's door]: Penny, Penny, Penny...
[Penny opens the door]
Sheldon: Good morning.
Penny: Do you have any idea what time it is?
Sheldon: Of course I do, my watch is linked to the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado. It's accurate to one-tenth of a second, but as I'm saying this it occurs to me once again your question may have been rhetorical
• Rating: Unrated
Sheldon: I'm uncomfortable having been included in your lie to Penny.
Leonard: What was I supposed to say?
Sheldon: You could have told her the truth.
Leonard: That would have hurt her feelings.
Sheldon: Is that a relevant factor?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Then I suppose you could have agreed to go.
Leonard: And what would I have said afterwards?
Sheldon: I would suggest something to the effect of, 'singing is neither an appropriate vocation nor avocation for you, and if you disagree I'd recommend you have a CAT scan to look for a tumor pressing on the cognitive processing centers of your brain
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 9: "The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization"
Leonard: Sheldon, we have to do this.
Sheldon: No, we don't. We have to take in nourishment, expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep our cells from dying. Everything else is optional
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Leonard: Are there any other honors that I've gotten that I don't know about? Did UPS drop off a Nobel Prize with my name on it?
Sheldon: Leonard, please don't take this the wrong way, but the day you win a Nobel Prize is the day I begin my research on the drag co-efficient of tassels on flying carpets
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Leonard [watching their fight on YouTube]: Oh, geez, does this suit really look that bad?
Sheldon: Forget your suit. Look at my arms flailing. I'm like a flamingo on Ritalin
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Leonard: Sheldon, why is this letter in the trash?
Sheldon: Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor would suggest that someone threw it out
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Leonard: You are not Isaac Newton.
Sheldon: No, no, that's true. Gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 8: "The Grasshopper Experiment"
Sheldon: I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
Lalita: Really? So do I!
Raj: But you're a dentist, he's nuts
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Sheldon: You are the living embodiment of the beautiful Princess Panchali.
Lalita: Oh, no kidding? Who is that?
Sheldon: A beloved character from an Indian folktale.
Lalita: Oh. "Us" Indian or "Come to our casino" Indian?
Sheldon: "You" Indian
• Rating: 4.9 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 567
