South Park

Stan Marsh Quotes

Cartman: I'm a racist, huh? I'm a racist? It's how nature works, Kyle. Look, what about Luke Covina and Maria Sanchez? Is it a coincidence they ended up together?
Stan: Actually, I heard they're together because they got locked in the school gym overnight a few nights ago.
Cartman: Oh, did they? I hadn't heard about that.
Cupid Cartman: Teehee, that was us, remember, Eric?
Cartman: Shh, quiet Cupid me!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: The hardest part about it is knowing you can't take it back! It was a 5th generation nano, so I can't trade it in anywhere!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Real Kyle: So you intended us for us to go ziplining all along? Why, Stan?
Real Stan: If you signed up 3 friends...you got an iPod nano.
Real Kyle: You sold us out for an iPod nano?!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Stan: And I finally, I couldn't hold it in any more. I said "Stop it!"
Real Stan: Stop it!
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Stan: It was 10, maybe 15 minutes of pure hell.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Stan: Dude, did a bully take your lunch money again week?
Butters: Yeah.
Stan: That's the third day in a row, you gotta tell a teacher.
Butters: Nah, I'm not a tattle-tale.
Stan: Then write the principal an anonymous letter.
Butters: Nah, I'm not an Anonymous Andy.
Clyde: So just get a bigger bully to beat the bully up.
Butters: Nah, I don't want kids calling me kids calling me a cliche conflict resolution Kevin.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: Token, stop giving Tyler Perry money or he won't go away.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: Dude you're freaking out Mint Berry Crunch, he's just peed his pants.
Mint Berry Crunch: No, no, Mint Berry Crunch doesn't ever pee his pants!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Stan: What's a muff cabbage?
Kyle: It's a Jersey thing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: All people from Jersey do is hump and punch each other.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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