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South-park

There have been malicious rumors started at this elementary school that my beautiful fiancee is a hobbit. That is not funny and it is not true. Yes, she is heavier than most of her pictures show her to be. Yes, she gets her hair lasered off her body and yes, she has a friend named Gandalf, who happens to be a wizard.

Stan: Just one thing, Morgan Freeman: how come every time something convoluted needs explaining, you show up?
Morgan Freeman: Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle.

Stan: I don't understand that stuff at all, I need Morgan Freeman to explain it to me.
Jimmy: Yeah, I love when Morgan Freeman explains stuff.
Clyde: Whenever I'm confused about what's going on in a movie, I'm always so relieved when Morgan Freeman shows up and explains the plot to me.

Stan: My dad is kinda losing it. To be honest, I feel kinda bad for him.
Randy: Stan, get off the damn phone, people are gonna start calling to reserve movies, gah!
Stan: Oh never mind, I hate him again.

Renting DVDs is more ancient than Madonna's boobs!

Stan: I think something might be wrong with dad.
Sharon: Duh, you think?

Kenny: [Stan reading from letter] He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily his ceremony will finally take place on the morrow.
Stan: On the morrow? What the **** is wrong with Kenny?
Kenny: To wit, I have found nothing wrong with this remote place, and I must admit it will be with some melancholy I will leave this island and return home. I saw this chick in a bikini on the beach too. She had the nicest boobs ever. Humbly yours, Kenneth.

Stan: Dad, do we really have to wear bras?
Randy: Yeah, Stan, this is what people want! Don't worry, you look really cool!

Butters: Boy, I just don't get football. Guess that's why I suck at it.
Stan: You don't suck at football, Butters. You suck at all sports.
Butters: That's true!

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