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There have been malicious rumors started at this elementary school that my beautiful fiancee is a hobbit. That is not funny and it is not true. Yes, she is heavier than most of her pictures show her to be. Yes, she gets her hair lasered off her body and yes, she has a friend named Gandalf, who happens to be a wizard.
Stan: Just one thing, Morgan Freeman: how come every time something convoluted needs explaining, you show up?
Morgan Freeman: Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle.
- Permalink: How come every time something convoluted needs explaining, you s...
Stan: I don't understand that stuff at all, I need Morgan Freeman to explain it to me.
Jimmy: Yeah, I love when Morgan Freeman explains stuff.
Clyde: Whenever I'm confused about what's going on in a movie, I'm always so relieved when Morgan Freeman shows up and explains the plot to me.
- Permalink: I don't understand that stuff at all, I need Morgan Freeman to e...
Stan: My dad is kinda losing it. To be honest, I feel kinda bad for him.
Randy: Stan, get off the damn phone, people are gonna start calling to reserve movies, gah!
Stan: Oh never mind, I hate him again.
- Permalink: My dad is kinda losing it. To be honest, I feel kinda bad for hi...
Renting DVDs is more ancient than Madonna's boobs!
- Permalink: Renting DVDs is more ancient than Madonna's boobs!
Stan: I think something might be wrong with dad.
Sharon: Duh, you think?
- Permalink: I think something might be wrong with dad. Duh, you think?
Kenny: [Stan reading from letter] He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily his ceremony will finally take place on the morrow.
Stan: On the morrow? What the **** is wrong with Kenny?
Kenny: To wit, I have found nothing wrong with this remote place, and I must admit it will be with some melancholy I will leave this island and return home. I saw this chick in a bikini on the beach too. She had the nicest boobs ever. Humbly yours, Kenneth.
- Permalink: He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily his ceremony wi...
Stan: Dad, do we really have to wear bras?
Randy: Yeah, Stan, this is what people want! Don't worry, you look really cool!
- Permalink: Dad, do we really have to wear bras? Yeah, Stan, this is what ...
Butters: Boy, I just don't get football. Guess that's why I suck at it.
Stan: You don't suck at football, Butters. You suck at all sports.
Butters: That's true!
- Permalink: Boy, I just don't get football. Guess that's why I suck at it. ...
Cartman: I'm a racist, huh? I'm a racist? It's how nature works, Kyle. Look, what about Luke Covina and Maria Sanchez? Is it a coincidence they ended up together?
Stan: Actually, I heard they're together because they got locked in the school gym overnight a few nights ago.
Cartman: Oh, did they? I hadn't heard about that.
Cupid Cartman: Teehee, that was us, remember, Eric?
Cartman: Shh, quiet Cupid me!
- Permalink: I'm a racist, huh? I'm a racist? It's how nature works, Kyle. Lo...
The hardest part about it is knowing you can't take it back! It was a 5th generation nano, so I can't trade it in anywhere!
- Permalink: The hardest part about it is knowing you can't take it back! It ...
Real Kyle: So you intended us for us to go ziplining all along? Why, Stan?
Real Stan: If you signed up 3 friends...you got an iPod nano.
Real Kyle: You sold us out for an iPod nano?!
- Permalink: So you intended us for us to go ziplining all along? Why, Stan? ...