Stan Marsh Quotes (Page 3)
Season 14, Episode 5: "200"
Stan: Hey guys look, Tom Cruise is a fudge packer.
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Season 14, Episode 4: "You Have 0 Friends"
Randy: Hey Stan, my computer says we're not friends anymore.
Stan: My Facebook profile went rogue, dad. Had to go into the circuitry and do battle with it. I sent all my friends somewhere else.
Randy: Okay, so we're not friends then?
Stan: F**k off dad.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kyle: I could really use a friend right now.
Stan: Okay dude, I'm here for you.
Kyle: Okay, then get on Facebook and fertilize my crops.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Stan: Are you doing that stupid Facebook stuff again?
Cartman: Stupid Facebook stuff...
Stan: Why are you guys in here wasting your time? We're supposed out playing video games.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 14, Episode 3: "Medicinal Fried Chicken"
Stan: Mom says to stop trying to give yourself cancer.
Randy: Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan, tell mom it's okay.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 14: "Butters' Very Own Episode"
Stan: Butters was missing?
• Rating: Unrated
Stan: Wow, your dad's a perv and your mom tried to kill you.
Butters: Yeah, you guys sure are gonna rip on me at school.
Cartman: We sure are.
Butters: Yeah, but as soon as we get to Bennigan's and I get my mozzarella burger I'll forget all about my dad being queer and my mom trying to kill me.
Stan: Really?
Butters: No, I'm lying.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 13: "Kenny Dies"
Stan: Hey Chef.
Chef: How's it going?
Stan: Bad.
Chef: Yeah. Things have been better.
Stan: Why would God let Kenny die, Chef? Why? Kenny's my fr-f-f-friend.
Chef: Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us.
Stan: But then, why does God give us anything to start with?
Chef: Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop.
Stan: I think I understand.
• Rating: Unrated
Stan: Hey, Kenny!
(As Stan walks into the room, Kenny's bed is empty. Kyle walks up to him)
Kyle: He just... He just... stopped breathing. And it was over.
Stan: But... Did he say anything before he went?
Kyle: He just said... "Where's Stan?"
• Rating: Unrated
Cartman: Look, I put the stem cells from all the fetuses I had next to a Shakey's and they ARE replicating a new Shakey's! It worked!
Stan: This whole time you were just using Kenny's illness to lift the ban on stem cell research so you could sell your stupid fetuses?
Cartman: Stupid fetuses!? It's my own Shakey's!
Kyle: I actually hugged you. I held you in my arms and, and, cried with you.
Cartman: I think I only need a hundred or so more aborted babies and I can finish up the kitchen.
Kyle: AAAHHH! (Kyle attacks Cartman)
Stan: Hey, I wasn't Kenny's worst f-f-f-friend, Cartman was!
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 359
