So something good happening to Stanley is crazy now.

I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit in an air conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for...that is the life.

Don't tell me how to do my business.

Yes, I have a dream... I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there's a button I can press and launch that lighthouse into space.

Michael: Why don't you go outside take a shot of insulin and have a nap?
Stanley: Why do you always assume I have Diabetes?
Michael: I don't know. Your frame. Your build. Why don't you have a glass of apple juice and tell me you're not a Diabetic?

Gabe: Stanley, it's your turn.
Stanley: I didn't do it.
Gabe: What a rich timber your voice has.

Dwight: How would one of you feel, if I told you I could put you on a fast track to an executive position at this company.
Erin: Holy cow. I'd be so happy.
Dwight: I wasn't talking to you, Pale Face.
Erin: I know, I mean I'd be happy for them!
Dwight: What I'm offering is a ticket on a bullet train, straight to middle management.
Stanley: Dwight, I know this program. "Every color is important because together we make a rainbow."
Dwight: Yes.
Stanley: I'll slap you in the face with a rainbow.

Phyllis: You didn't decorate it?
Jim: No.
Dwight: Exactly.
Jim: We didn't, because we think it'd be better to do it together.
Dwight: Everyone.
Andy: Why would you wrap it in a sheet, if you're not covering anything up?
Pam: Is it ... is it fake?
Jim: Pam!
Dwight: Yes, we are unveiling, an artificial tree, that will never die...
Jim: Yes.
Dwight: Like the spirit of Christmas!
Stanley: We're supposed to applaud you for taking a giant diaper off fake tree?
Dwight: This was a successful unveiling! Go back to work! Merry Christmas!

Stanley: Michael don't listen to them.
Michael: Thank you Stanley.
Stanley: You just ignore their carping.
Michael: Okay.
Dwight: Michael.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay.

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