Glee
Fridays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Sue Sylvester Quotes
Will: Wait, wait, so you're not firing us?
Sue: Not if you win a national championship, I'm not. However, if you do fail to win at nationals, I will fire you and you'll be forced to build creepy relationships with teenagers on your own time.
Porcelain, the first moment I laid eyes on you, I truly didn't understand what I was looking at. With your hippo broaches and your knee length sweaters, standing there all sassy with your arms crossed and your hips cocked out and your eyes rolled back as if to say 'oh, how droll...' But then I got to know you and even though you still constantly annoyed me I got to watch you go through what you went through. The whole coming out thing with your dad, the death threats from the bully whom Blaine later dated. I never knew I had thoughts and feelings about those things until I watched you go through them. You expanded my mind. You taught me things about myself that I would have never discovered on my own. And for that I thank you.
Truth is, journal, I'm attracted to men. Sure, I can't stand watching them eat or talk, but when it comes to getting sexy, this gal's got a hole in her heart that only a fella can fill.
I'm grieving. And I greive by insulting those who mean the most to me. It's just a coincidence that it's also what I do when I'm not grieving.
I lost an enormous last minute bet I placed on myself with a shady Las Vegas bookie.
I was horrible to that kid. And I'm utterly destroyed that he died thinking I didn't like him.
Before Katy versus Gaga it was Jackie versus Marilyn, Betty versus Veronica. Mary Todd Lincoln versus Martha Washington. Why must we always choose between female pop archetypes? Why can't we just be them all!?
Oh, please let it be another Journey song! There's got to be another one left!
Becky: I don't want to hurt your feelings, Coach.
Sue: Oh, I don't have feelings, Becky.
Sam: I like me just the way I am and I'm not going to change for anyone.
Sue: Well that is just the screw you spirit employers love.
Oh, no. No, no, no. Don't you dare. Over my dead body will you inexplicably shoehorn in another Billy Joel song just to punctuate one of your weekly lessons that inevitably veers off into a saccharine barrage of angst and affirmation.
Will: What is wrong with you?
Sue: Oh, it's just a flare up of my chronic hate disorder.
