You didn't ruin a wedding, just the reception.

Barney: I picked the right tie didn't I?
Ted: You nailed it.

Barney: Here's your toast, single file ladies! No fatties!
Ted: That's ridiculous.
Barney: Yeah you're right, it's Cleveland. Single file ladies!

The happy couple needs to hear this! Things end, but from the ashes of your statistically probable divorce, hope can rise anew.

Wow Marshall really took a two-flusher on that one!

Oh thank God! Barney Stinson needs you right before his wedding, you assume there's at least one dead stripper in the closet.

And kids, that's how I met your mother. Psych! It was just some chick.

Ted: Robin you want to get...
Robin: (Raspberry Sound) Get it together bro.

Ted: Do you know how many people it takes to change fifty-thousand light bulbs?
Barney: Are these people Irish? Polish? Blondes? What are we dealing with here?

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

New York is never finished Theodore. She's a lady only a handful of architects ever get to dance with. Do not miss your turn.

Barney

First of all, no ninja is getting the jump on me.

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted