How I Met Your Mother

Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 8)

Barney: Oh yeah? Be my guest. Fall in love with her, get married. Just know this, when I step up to make my toast as your best man?
Ted: Actually Marshall will probably be my-
Barney: AS YOUR BEST MAN!!!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Barney I really have to grade these papers.
Barney: I'm sorry. I'll let you work...But first a riddle! What piece of women's attire stokes a man's desire?
Ted: A sundress.
Barney: Correct. What lightweight outfit pink or white makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight?
Ted: I really have to get this done.
Barney: Of course of course. Sundress by the way.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted (sipping a beer): This is what church has been missing. Dude, you fixed Church!
Marshall: You're welcome, God.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Beer be with you...
Ted: And also with you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: Ultimately, we only see what we want to see when we're ready to see it.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Barney: No! Time out! This is a group decision! You can't just move to Chicago unless we all say it's okay!
Ted: Barney, I think this has to be Robin's-
Barney: Stay out of this Brigitte Nielsen or Dolph Lundgren from Rocky IV!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Let's just say there were some senior citizens who attempted to "drown" on my watch ... and sadly one who did.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Ted, I love you buddy, but there is no way you can pull off blonde.
Lily: Seriously, Ted, don't do it.
Ted: I'm going blonde!
Lily: Awwww.
Marshall: That is NOT the outcome we were hoping for.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Fun fact. Highest rated Monty and Moo-Moo episode ever.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Kids, up to this point in the story we had found doppelgangers - eerie but awesome lookalikes for four of the five of our little group. There was lesbian Robin. Mustache Marshall. Stripper Lily. And Mexican wrestler me. Yes, mine was the coolest. So we were all eager to find the fifth doppelganger, Barney's. Turns out it was more important to some of us than others.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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