How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Kids, don't drink tequila.

Can you get STD's from the ghost of a prostitute?

I can handle you preventing me from fulfilling a life long dream, that's being in a relationship.

Ted: How's the open marriage going? Who was the first to get to five numbers?
Lily: I won that race. My prize, sex in the bathroom.
Marshall: And I won that race!

Ted: Why would you do that?
Zoey: I thought you'd like it?
Ted: Who likes that?
Zoey: I like it!

Ted: OK Scherbatsky, you wanna tussle?
Robin: I'll tussle!
Ted: You wanna tussle?
Robin: Let's Tussle!
Ted: Marine Biologist.
Robin: Please no.

Lily: Scooby, we're in our thirties, we don't smoke sandwiches anymore.
Ted: Sandwich brownies?
Lily: OK!

Barney: Never ever meet a girl's parents.
Ted: Not even if she is hot?
Barney: Not even if her mom's hot?

Barney: The N'Sync concert?
Ted: 1998 Cleveland's Agora Theater, front row, caught JC's shirt, what else you got

Ted: They're actually called British Morning Socks.
Zoë: Don't get in your own way!

What kind of name is Zoë? What is that short for Zoseph?

I'd say hump her brains out, but somebody obviously already has.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 477 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney