Ted Mosby Quotes
Kids, don't drink tequila.
Can you get STD's from the ghost of a prostitute?
I can handle you preventing me from fulfilling a life long dream, that's being in a relationship.
Ted: How's the open marriage going? Who was the first to get to five numbers?
Lily: I won that race. My prize, sex in the bathroom.
Marshall: And I won that race!
Ted: Why would you do that?
Zoey: I thought you'd like it?
Ted: Who likes that?
Zoey: I like it!
Ted: OK Scherbatsky, you wanna tussle?
Robin: I'll tussle!
Ted: You wanna tussle?
Robin: Let's Tussle!
Ted: Marine Biologist.
Robin: Please no.
Lily: Scooby, we're in our thirties, we don't smoke sandwiches anymore.
Ted: Sandwich brownies?
Barney: Never ever meet a girl's parents.
Ted: Not even if she is hot?
Barney: Not even if her mom's hot?
Barney: The N'Sync concert?
Ted: 1998 Cleveland's Agora Theater, front row, caught JC's shirt, what else you got
Ted: They're actually called British Morning Socks.
ZoÃ«: Don't get in your own way!
What kind of name is ZoÃ«? What is that short for Zoseph?
I'd say hump her brains out, but somebody obviously already has.