Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 9)
Season 5, Episode 23: "The Wedding Bride"
Royce: I think you owe us an apology.
Ted: No-can-do-ski, baby doll. No-can-do-ski.
• Rating: 4.6 / 5.0
Ted: Move over Adolf Hitler, there's a new king of comedy!
• Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
Barney: Ted, please tell me you're not impugning emotional baggage.
Ted: Baggage is good?
Barney: Emotional baggage is the bedrock of America's most important cultural export.
Robin: Porn?
Barney: Actually, it's porn.
• Rating: Unrated
Barney: Kiss him! Kiss him!
Older Ted: Uncle Barney didn't say "kiss."
Theater employee: Sir, you need to leave. Now.
Barney: This is outrageous. Who the kiss are you?!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Marshall: Wait, you actually used Jed Mosly's catchphrase?
Ted: Oh yeah ... How do you know that's his catchphrase?
Marshall: [pauses] Hey, I wanted to see Avatar.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 22: "Robots vs. Wrestlers"
Barney: Ted, you are out of the gang FOREVER!
Ted: I'll see you guys tomorrow?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ted: [thinking while reading poetry] I sound kind of douchey. I can't stop myself!
• Rating: Unrated
Barney: I've got five tickets to Robots vs. Wrestlers!
Ted: That is awesome!
Barney: You've heard of Robots vs. Wrestlers?
Marshall: Not at all!
Ted: But we're assuming it's some sort of sporting event putting robots ... against wrestlers!
Barney: That's exactly what it is!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 21: "Twin Beds"
Ted: [drunk, on phone] Hey Robin, it's Teddy Bear. Need a little honey? Rawwwr.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Barney: I stand by what I did. It was bold and romantic.
Ted: You soiled yourself from both ends of your body.
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 411
