How I Met Your Mother

Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 10)

Ted: You're moving in with him?
Robin: I'm considering it.
Barney: You're considering it? You barely know him! Plus, he's a loser with a dead end job!
Robin: We have the same job.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: So I'm banging this Portuguese contortionist, right, and she's so flexible that at one point she was both on top of me AND underneath me. Up top AND down low! Who needs drinks?
Ted: [to Don] He means well ... actually I'm not sure if that's true.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Ted: I didn't know the Jets had new costumes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Clint: But you have your own sexual memories with your mom, don't you? Exiting her womb, receiving her milk. You get me, don't you.
Ted: Please don't.
 • Rating: Unrated

Virginia: I can't believe I am with that man.
Ted: Mom, it's okay. You don't have to settle. There are plenty of other-
Virginia: He's so COOL!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Clint: Your mother is a very erotic woman.
Ted: Please don't.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: The auction was yesterday, my bid was accepted and I signed the papers this morning!
Barney: Was the Blair Witch easy to deal with or did she haggle over closing costs?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: I'm gonna set up the grill out back, it's gonna be a total sausage fest. Party. Burgers. We'll do burgers.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: This is going to be the home I share with my future wife.
Barney: Is she in the room with us now, Ted?
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: Are you reenacting the last scene from Sleepless in Seattle with little dolls?
Ted: How long have you been standing there?
Robin: Ten seconds.
Ted: Yup, just the last scene.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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