Liz: Your online romance prank was not funny. I fell in love with you!
Tracy: You wore a yellow hat to that coffee shop.

Liz: I hope you didn't have plans tonight.
Tracy: No. I wasn't going to buy two blimps and crash them into each other to see what kind of sound they made.

Let's do it again from the top. I want to get it perfect, because perfection is my middle name. Unclaimed Perfection Baby Boy.

Every crazy a-lister owns an island; Nicolas Cage, Celine Dion, Charles Widmore. This is a whole new world in front of me, LL.

I'm sorry I'm four hours late but my alarm clock didn't go off because it died in a cock fight last night.

I gotta stay serious. From now on the only movies Tracy Jordan makes are about the Holocaust, Georgia O'Keefe, or both.

Jack: You're the only one bank rolling this? What about Brown and Folderson?
Tracy: That's what I call my wallet.

What is Senor Mexico saying? Stop keeping me out the loop!

Tracy: Hey! What was that sound? It was opportunity knocking.
Jack: No one knocked, you just barged in.

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