She is a orca, Benjamin. And FYI, they're very difficult to keep in a home aquarium.

Centennial is a hundred years, because centipeding means having sex with a hundred women.

Tracy: So for me to be there at the birth of my daughter, I have to answer trivia questions despite having gone to middle school in an Exxon station?
Ben Bailey: Yeah.

Wow, it's like I always say...white cab drivers are weird!

If I were a real werewolf I'd wear baggy clothes so my nice clothes wouldn't get all torn up.

And good for you Liz Lemon. There's something about you lately... makes me want to put my feet in your mouth.

Dot Com: Also we took Tracy's cell phone, his wallet...
Tracy: ... and my mood ring! And I don't know how I feel about that.

Tracy: Well, I'm embarrassed to say I've missed the birth of both of my sons... for very legitimate reasons.
Dot Com: Cooking a French bread pizza and forgot.

Why don't you come back home to TGS and pick the peas out of my fried rice... and the rice. I just want carrots.

Liz: The next time you hallucinate just tell yourself "this is not real. I am in control of this."
Tracy: Like the World Cup.

Kenneth! I knew you'd come back. Let me smell your head.

... then I need you to be back by noon to make the bathroom smell like sandalwood before I wreck it.

30 Rock Quotes

Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.
Liz: I need to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into more money. Can you teach me how to do that?
Jack: With my eyes closed.

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.

Liz