Every crazy a-lister owns an island; Nicolas Cage, Celine Dion, Charles Widmore. This is a whole new world in front of me, LL.

I'm sorry I'm four hours late but my alarm clock didn't go off because it died in a cock fight last night.

I gotta stay serious. From now on the only movies Tracy Jordan makes are about the Holocaust, Georgia O'Keefe, or both.

Jack: You're the only one bank rolling this? What about Brown and Folderson?
Tracy: That's what I call my wallet.

What is Senor Mexico saying? Stop keeping me out the loop!

Tracy: Hey! What was that sound? It was opportunity knocking.
Jack: No one knocked, you just barged in.

Jenna: I'm the hot blonde...
Tracy: And I'm the nerd who takes off his glasses and everyone realizes he's handsome.

Your boos are not scaring me. I know most of you are not ghosts.

It's like the thing I said in another movie I made, compromises are for lesser souls. Die werewolf zombie.

Sabotage? But I'm the one who does that to me.

Jenna, a word. Specifically, the word talking.

If I won an Oscar everyone would have to respect me. My obituary would read Oscar-winner, instead of children's soccer heckler.

30 Rock Quotes

Why did you have to offend the gay community? It is the most organized of all the communities. They make the Japanese look like the Greeks.

Liz

Tracy: What is this, Horseville? Because I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!
Liz: That is solid.