Honey, I'm home! Pac-Man, I'm Jewish!

[on stalking] That's a real problem in the celebrity community. But if Beyonce would just answer one of my letters, I'd stop trying to break into her house.

Oh, I'm not offering. I'm just taking a survey to guage general interest.

We didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on Mars!

That stupid, Irish piece of... oh boy, Boston is not going to go well.

Before you got here, were you an air scientist? Because your ass blah blah blah, you get the point.

I know it's a girl, Liz Lemon, because I yelled out 'Susan B. Anthony' at the moment of conception.

[forgetting what floor he works on] Six! I knew it was a character from Blossom, but I couldn't find the Joey Russo button.

Oh, oh Ken ... we may have fallen into the intellectual deep end here. And if you try to grab on to me, we'll both drown.

[to Kenneth] That's the whole thing, K-Fed. Why don't the Catholics not eat meat on Fridays? Because the Pope owns Long John Silvers!

Whoa! New dude sings as good as Tracy Jordan does everything!

We're lucky people laugh when I stay stuff.

30 Rock Quotes

Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.
Liz: I need to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into more money. Can you teach me how to do that?
Jack: With my eyes closed.

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.

Liz