Jack: You're someone with a lot of problems, who needs constant guidance.
Tracy: Don't forget, I never listen.

Sure, I Google myself all the time. Like when Angie's not in the mood or I'm alone in a hotel.

Tracy: Shirt on or off, Sean?!?
Sean: On.
Tracy: Good note. Back at one.

I just can't turn down community service. 'Cause if I do, that judge will make me join the Coast Guard.

Liz: Your lizard cannot be the music guest on the show.
Tracy: Of course not! His album doesnt drop until December!

Oh no! My Oprah wig is falling off. This is an exciting mishap. This is live!

Jenna: President O'Bama, in your own words, why are you a terrorist that hates America?
Tracy: That's an excellent question...Uh oh, I'm doing something called "breaking" Blahahahaha. Snort. Heehee. Giggle giggle. The audience loves this!

Liz: No breaking. Promise?
Tracy: I promise. I swear on my mother's grape.
Liz: Did you say grave or grape?
Tracy: Yes. Goodbye.

Tracy: It was funnier than the porn version. And the best part is when the actors started cracking up. They laughed so hard they couldn't even finish the skit.
Liz: Uh huh, and you're point is?
Tracy: I would like to do that please.

I personally love cop shows. I can't wait for Law and Order to start back up...Why? It was a tent pole! A tent pole!

I don't get why people like brunch. What's the benefit of combining break dancing and lunch?

Tracy: Why's that baby covered with goop?
Dr. Spaceman: Because everything about this is disgusting.

30 Rock Quotes

Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.
Liz: I need to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into more money. Can you teach me how to do that?
Jack: With my eyes closed.

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.

Liz