That's three! Tell my wife I went to Philadelphia on business!

A book hasn't caused this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory.

Which one is the elevator I'm not afraid of?

My dear friend Moby just opened a tea house in Park Slope. Do you know him?

[giving commencement address] Just be yourself, and I promise that every single person in this room will be President of the United States!

[on his high school classmate] We called him Mean Steve. But his real name was Steven Killer.

I feel like you're not telling me something, Jack. Lemme guess. You bought a sidecar for your motorcycle and your dog won't stay in it.

My love child tracked me down. I was scared, shocked, angry. Like a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle.

Liz Lemon, I may hug people too hard and get lost at malls, but I'm not an idiot.

Don't patronize me with your Celtic slang, Liz Lemon.

You treat me like a child! No, worse than that. Like one of those pageant girls with the clip-on teeth.

I took my son to his cello recital this morning at what turned out to be midnight yesterday!

30 Rock Quotes

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.

Liz

I've learned the word 'black' in every language, just so I know when to be offended.

Tracy