That's three! Tell my wife I went to Philadelphia on business!

A book hasn't caused this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory.

Which one is the elevator I'm not afraid of?

My dear friend Moby just opened a tea house in Park Slope. Do you know him?

[giving commencement address] Just be yourself, and I promise that every single person in this room will be President of the United States!

[on his high school classmate] We called him Mean Steve. But his real name was Steven Killer.

I feel like you're not telling me something, Jack. Lemme guess. You bought a sidecar for your motorcycle and your dog won't stay in it.

My love child tracked me down. I was scared, shocked, angry. Like a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle.

Liz Lemon, I may hug people too hard and get lost at malls, but I'm not an idiot.

Don't patronize me with your Celtic slang, Liz Lemon.

You treat me like a child! No, worse than that. Like one of those pageant girls with the clip-on teeth.

I took my son to his cello recital this morning at what turned out to be midnight yesterday!

30 Rock Quotes

We'll trick those race car-loving wide loads into loving your, watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet!


I wanna roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.