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Why's she teaching Spanish if she's a doctor? Go cure something.

Troy: I want TBD. Is that new?
Pierce: If it's what I think, I had it for about a month in the '70s.

They're making us walk around with pretzels in our butts, and I put mustard on mine like an idiot.

My uncle was struck by lightning. You'd think it would give you superpowers, but now he just masturbates in movie theaters.

Troy: He released Annie's Boobs. Annie's Boobs could be anywhere.
Shirley: We get it! You named your monkey Annie's Boobs.

Can we make this quick? I have to give a banana to Annie's Boobs.

Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.

If God were edible - not that I'm Catholic - but if it was cool to eat God, he'd be a chicken finger.

Jeff: Why do you have a monkey?
Troy: It's an animal that looks like a dude. Why don't I have 10 of them?

I gotta stop hanging out with her. She sounds like a chicken finger.

It's not a meteor; it's a cookie wand. Me and Jeff made it because it made you look more like the Cookie Crisp wizard, which is not even a reference I get because the Cookie Crisp mascot when I was growing up wasn't a wizard. It was a burglar.

You're more of a fun vampire. You don't suck blood, you just suck.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 150 in total

Community Quotes

It's called a Complisult. Part compliment, part insult. He invented them. I coined the term. See what I just did there? That was an explainabrag.

Britta

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]
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