Popular Turk Quotes
Turk: So he was up all night with a high fever, cramping and crying.
J.D.: Dude!
Turk: Oh, my bad. Not crying. Punching the wall all manly and angry like
Turk: I just want you to know how serious I am about what I do.
J.D. Did you stitch your initials in to me?!
Turk: That's not important
J.D.'s narration: I know two things about bars, one they're always packed the week of Thanksgiving and two put a beer in my hand and I'm Mr. Smooth.
Jennifer: I was laughing so hard milk was coming out of my nose.
J.D.: Well, I once tripped over an I.V. and blood shot over everyone! Er uh a little got on my nose. Every damn day saving those children!
Turk: Who wants Margaritas? Dude, less blood more fruity drinks
Turk: Baby, J.D. is my best friend, but, listen, if you need me to kick his ass, I will kick his ass! 'Cause I care for you.
Carla: And 'cause I'm willing to sleep with you.
Turk: Hell, yeah
[Turk is in Kelso's spot]
Dr. Kelso: Nice spot.
Turk: Yes, sir... it is.
Dr. Kelso: I usually try to get out here for lunch every day at 12:30.
Turk: You don't say...
Dr. Kelso: Yep. Every day. 12:30. For twenty-three years
J.D.: Are we still on for that, uh, Bresson exhibit?
Carla: Yes, we are.
Turk: Oh, I'm sorry, uh...did somebody just ask out my girlfriend?
J.D.: You wanna come?
Carla: Oh: Black and white photography; very artsy-fartsy; no boobies.
Turk: Hell no.
J.D.: Hey. What are you doin'?
Turk: Reading a book. About how to tell my room-mate he drives me crazy sometimes without hurting his feelings.
J.D.: I think sarcasm works better when it's shorter.
Turk: Fascinating.
J.D.: Yeah, see, there ya go
Turk: I don't get it. Why are we on the roof?
Carla: I just wanted to show you that, no matter how ugly things can get down there, there's still a lot of beauty up here.
Turk: Is that gum...or pigeon crap on my shoe?
Carla: Come on, look around! There's nobody here...no one can see us...we could do whatever we wanted...
Turk: Like what?
Carla: Okay, how are you not getting this?
J.D.: That's fine; we all have our beliefs. I, for instance, carry around this tiny little Monopoly piece for good luck.
Turk: Did you just compare my Lord and Savior to a tiny top-hat?
Carla: He did. I heard him, Baby. Go get him.
J.D.: Oh, excuse me, Nurse Theresa, have you ever read the Bible?
Carla: I started it...but then I skipped to the end and it ruined it for me
Turk: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and, you know...we're past that whole new, exciting relationship phase, and...all that's left is us. Baby, I gotta tell you: You drive me crazy. All right? You take my french fries; you-you boss me around in front of my friends-
Carla: You said strong women turn you on!
Carla: I know something's wrong.
Turk: Nothing's wrong.
Carla: You always say nothing's wrong, then you sulk for a week and then you finally tell me.
Turk: First of all, we haven't known each other long enough for me to "always" be doing anything.
Mr. Davis: Well, I've only known you for ten minutes, and you're always hurting me
Turk: I don't understand. If I'm the best surgeon here, how come you're always looking over my shoulder?
Dr. Cox: Oh give me a break, would you? Saying someone is "the best surgeon" is like saying someone is the smartest cast member of The Hills. Let's face it, it's just not that tough to float to the top of the surgical toilet
