Popular Turk Quotes
J.D.: It was our first annual interracial buddy movie night! We had to.
Turk: Ya know, I'm still pissed that you thought "Turner & Hooch" was an interracial buddy movie.
J.D.: I didn't know it was Tom Hanks and a dog, okay? Don't paint me as a racist just because I thought "black guy" when I heard the name Hooch.
Hooch: Yeah J.D., what's up?
J.D.: Oh! Sorry Hooch, we were just talkin' 'bout the movie.
Hooch: No biggie, happens all the time!
Turk: Dude, get up - I gotta go to the bathroom.
J.D.'s Narration: As I went to the men's room with Turk, praying he only had to go onesies...
Turk: I was pulling some dude's spleen out today, and check it, blood splashed on my scrubs, looks like a tiger. Roar!
Carla: Why is that part a different color?
Turk: I might have used chocolate pudding to do the tail
Carla: Listen, um... We just think that getting back with Jordan might be a mistake. You guys just don't seem to... What am I trying to say, Baby?
Turk: I dunno.
Carla: You just don't connect the way a couple should. Do you know what I mean?
Dr. Cox: That pretty much the way you feel about it, there, Ghandi?
Turk: I dunno!
Dr. Cox: Interesting.
Dr. Cox: Um, I think that-
Carla: Oh, hold that thought.
Turk: I would love to hear what you have to say.
Dr. Cox: I don't think so, there, bowling ball.
Turk: Well, you might as well spill it - Carla tells me everything. Except, of course, about that curling iron you have in your locker. It slipped!
Carla: Hey, J.D. Turns out Mr. Milligan doesn't have insurance. Dr. Kelso said once he's stable we have to bounce him to County. Sorry.
J.D.: Turk! Hey! If you go talk to Kelso for me, I'll give you this special Christmas gum.
J.D.'s Narration: Okay, this is actually Mrs. Cross's medicated denture gum? So you have to sell it with your eyes. Sell it... Sell it...!
Turk: Okay.
Turk: Elliot! You said you were gonna get that CAT-scan of Mrs. Credin's abdomen.
Elliot: I have been crazy-busy. I was stuck on the phone all morning with bill collectors who, by the way, are obsessed with money! I spent an hour in my truck looking for clean bras because all I've got left is this date-night push-up one - and, to be honest, I don't like working with these things under my chin all day. Plus, I am walking someplace right now, and, for the life of me, I can't remember where.
Turk: Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it for you.
Elliot: Thanks.
Turk: Mm-hmm.
Elliot: Bathroom!
J.D.: What guy drunkenly kissed you when you were sleeping?
J.D.'s narration: And it was at that moment that Turk and I remembered the incident we managed to block out for twelve years!
Turk: Uh, you're okay with us not hanging around for a couple of weeks?
J.D.: Totally!
Turk: So, who'd you side with, Elliot or Alex?
J.D.: Neither; I just pretended I was paged, and then when they said they didn't hear anything, I called them both liars and ran away.
Turk: Smooth.
J.D.: Yeah. It's just, you know, they both have a point...
Turk: Stick to the booty principle.
J.D.: What's that?
Turk: The booty principle: Which one do you want to sleep with?
J.D.: Alex.
Turk: Then I think she might be right
Carla: Okay, maybe I'm guilty of a lie of omission.
Turk: 'Cause you're a lie omitter!
Turk: Sorta had a sex dream about you.
Elliot: Really?
Turk: Yeah.
Elliot: Was I the girl?
Turk: Yeah, you were the girl!
Janitor:We don't just rock together, we roll together.
Janitor, Lloyd, Ted, Turk: ::pounding chests:: Cool cats.
