Popular Turk Quotes
Turk: Remember our college brochures?
J.D.: So what, they put you on the cover.
Turk: Twice?
Turk: What makes you think I'd wanna be part of this, J.D.?
J.D.: I don't know! Kelso said it would make us role models. I guess I just assumed that-
Turk: Yeah, everybody assumes that I'm a good athlete, or-or-or that I grew up poor, or that I love 'Sanford and Son'.
J.D.: But you do love 'Sanford and Son'... We both do
J.D.: She is ta-haasty. Watch me work a little cat-and-mouse game with her.
Turk: She's married to the sound-man, bud. And that little thing that's clipped to your collar, that's a microphone
Carla: So, do you want to get drunk and beg me to have sex with you now, or do you wanna wait till 2 o'clock tonight?
Turk: Let's wait.
Carla: Cool
Carla: Before you deny that you like looking at strange naked women - again - I should remind you that when you stay at my place, it's not a hotel; the movie titles do come up on the bill.
Turk: I'm sticking with we were protesting...J.D.?
J.D.: Outraged and disgusted
Reporter: Excuse me, are you gentleman visiting the club?
Turk: No!... We're here protesting.
J.D.: I'm worried about the kids.
Reporter: So what's that in your pocket?
J.D.: Oh, this is just, um, it's thirty-eight dollars in singles... I-I bought a newspaper, and this is the change from my forty
J.D.'s Narration: One of the best things about my friendship with Turk is that we're always challenging each other to try new things.
J.D.: I can't believe we're going to a strip club for lunch.
Turk: Oh, don't even think about it that way. This is just a nice place to buy a burger that's a short, convenient two-and-a-half-mile walk away from the hospital
Carla: You're such a guy. You can't even begin to understand something this deep on any kind of real emotional level.
J.D.: Hey, Turk. Look, I'm really sorry about the whole poster thing. It was racially insensitive of me; I should have been more aware of your feelings before I went ahead and spoke for you.
Turk: It's okay, your intentions were good, and there's never been an issue of race between us. Since the day I met you, you've been nothing but a friend to me.
J.D.: I love you, man.
Turk: Hit me one.
J.D.: Keep it real!
Turk: Yeah, we've got some things to work out, but, we'll get there... we'll get there
J.D.: Holy inferiority complex Batman! How low is my self esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?
Turk: It could be worse. You could be Alfred the butler.
J.D.: Damn you, sir
Turk: Yeah, Dr. Kelso, um 'bout these posters, they're kinda makin' me uncomfortable.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you felt that way. Well here's what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna leave them up.
Turk: I can live with that, or I can sue you.
[both laugh]
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Turk, you are an employee here. I can advertise however I wish. I can use your image, your name, I can manufacture tiny-little Dr. Turk action figures. It'll cost twelve-ninty-five and when you pull the string it'll say "I don't like these posters of me!" Isn't that right Ted?
Ted: Oh definately sir. Of course you'd certainly be vulnerable from a legal stand-point.
Dr. Kelso: How vulnerable?
Ted: Sir, that lawsuit would be over so quickly, I'd advise you to bring cab fare to the courthouse since Doctor Turk would be driving your beamer home to his place
J.D.: No seriously man, I want you to know if I ever need surgery again, I want you inside of me.
Turk: I wanna be the one inside you
Turk: I don't understand. If I'm the best surgeon here, how come you're always looking over my shoulder?
Dr. Cox: Oh give me a break, would you? Saying someone is "the best surgeon" is like saying someone is the smartest cast member of The Hills. Let's face it, it's just not that tough to float to the top of the surgical toilet
