Favorite Veronica Palmer Quotes
Veronica: I know what it's like to see the ugly face of discrimination.
Lem: You do?
Veronica: Yes, I do. When I was 16, I was 5'9" and stunning. I mean, off-the charts gorgeous. At school, I was like a swan among the ugly ducklings. all the other girls hated me. And like our light sensors are doing to you, totally ignored me. If it wasn't for the modeling contracts and the comfort of college boys, I don't know if I would have made it.
Phil: Wow. I had no idea.
Veronica: No, how could you? You're still not 5'9"
My door is always open to you. Please, close it on the way out
Ted: Hmm. Tased flesh smells bacon-y.
Veronica: Now I'm hungry.
Now get in there and run that meeting like a shark driving an assault vehicle through a herd of seals wearing chum pants.
Veronica: Another time, another place. Two other people, it could have been magniflorious.
Phil: You mean that?
Veronica: I do. Particularly the part about two other people
Veronica: Here, you do it.
Phil: Me?
Veronica: No, the microphone-attaching elf who lives in my drawer.
Phil: Talking about drawer elves isn't going to make this any less scary.
Saddle up, Linda! And say goodbye to common sense.
Veronica: I like that hairstyle. It's very powerful. Would you mind if I wore my hair like that?
Linda: Of course not.
Veronica: Good. Then you can't anymore
Ted: The system doesn't see black people?
Veronica: I know. Weird, huh?
Ted: That's more than weird, Veronica. That's basically, well... racist.
Veronica: The company's position is that it's actually the opposite of racist, because it's not targeting black people. It's just ignoring them. They insist the worst people can call it is "indifferent."
Ted: Well, they know it has to be fixed, right? Please... at least say they know that.
Veronica: Of course they do, and they're working on it. In the meantime they'd like everyone to celebrate the fact that it sees Hispanics, Asians, Pacific Islanders, and Jews.
Ted: Wait. You don't think competing all-out against a girl who's disabled is wrong?
Veronica: Wrong? How should I know what's wrong? I'm not some Greek philosopher. What does Rose think?
Ted: She's no help. I taught her her everyone should be treated equally.
Veronica: Well, then treat everyone equally.
Ted: No, you're not supposed to really do that. You're just supposed to teach it.
Veronica: Ted, you're a competitor. You want to win. You just need to hear it's okay.
Ted: No I don't. But it is, right?
Veronica: So obviously that whale thing is a winner, or you wouldn't be telling me it's a loser.
Elijah: Unless it's really a loser, and I'm pretending it's a loser to make you think it's a winner.
Veronica: Or I'm pretending to think it's a winner, when I actually know it's a loser because you said it's a loser to make me think it's a winner.
Elijah: And so... the student becomes the master.
Veronica: Or the student has always been the master, and just wanted the master to think the master was the master when he was actually just the student.
Elijah: These conversations are why your mother left us.
Veronica: That, and the fact you porked my way through my sorority
Veronica: What if I were to help you sell your daughter's precious toilet paper?
Ted: It's wrapping paper.
Veronica: It's not my fault I don't listen when you talk
