Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Alan: Do you know what happens to pretty, slender fellows in jail?
Evil Alan: Yeah, they usually hang themselves after their first shower.


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Related Quotes:
Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 16 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 16 Quotes

Alan: I was singing.
Jake: You weren't singing.
Alan: Who are you, Simon Cowell?

Priest: Are you even Catholic?
Alan: I'm a big fan. The costumes. The music. Crackers and wine.
Priest: That's the body and blood of our Savior.
Alan: I know. Um-um good. Did you guys ever think of putting that in supermarkets like a Lunchable?