Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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He's an alcoholic with a lot of money. There's nothing you can do about people like that. The best you can do is be nice to them so you can inherit their house when they crap out their liver.

Charlie

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Charlie Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 12 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 12 Quotes

Charlie: For every gorgeous woman out there's a guy tired of banging her.
Alan: But that guy is never me.

Charlie: I was fantasizing about other women.
Courtney: That doesn't necessarily mean it's over.
Charlie: I pretended you were the big blue chick from Avatar.
Courtney: It's over.