Bart: If fairytales have taught us anything, first wives are the best and second wives are terrible.
Homer: Just the opposite of real life.

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The Simpsons Season 22 Episode 22 Quotes

You can never raise a hand to a child. Just stop cutting the crust off their sandwiches. They'll get the message.


We can handle the alcoholism, melted cheese in the microwave and, selling A's for cigarettes, but not laying a hand on a child.

Principal Skinner