Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

I'm not hiding anything from you. You know everything I got. House on the beach, car in the garage, and a worthless douche in the guest room.

Charlie

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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 10 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 10 Quotes

Alan: Did you have to grovel?
Charlie: Like a leper as a kissing booth.

Alan: What do I have to be depressed about?
Jake: You've been divorced twice, you're living on your brother's couch, and your only child is flunking tenth grade.
Alan: You're flunking tenth grade, when the hell did this happen?
Jake: Easy dude, I think you have bigger things to worry about.

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