Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch Two and a Half Men.

Look at you all grown up and back living with mom. How good do you feel about yourself right now on a scale from one to...two?

Charlie [to Alan]

Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
Character:
Episode:
Show:
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
Added by:
Added:

Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch

Woman [to Charlie about Jake]: You guys are really great together.
Charlie: Thanks.
Woman: Your wife must be proud.
Charlie: Oh, no, I'm not married.
Woman: Too bad.
Charlie: Wow, you're even better than a dog