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Marshall: Personally, I'd rather hear the bad news on an answering machine than face the humiliation in person. It's the least painful way you can do it. Who are you calling?
Lily [into phone]: Hi, Marshall, it's Lily, we're not gonna have sex for at least a month. But you're awesome. OK, bye-bye

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HIMYM Quotes, How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes, Marshall Eriksen Quotes, Lily Aldrin Quotes
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How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes

Robin: So I'm not gonna jeopardize my promotion by saying "booger" for 50 bucks.
Barney: Of course not, because now you're saying "nipple" and it's 100. Step into my web

Barney: There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants

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