This better be important Jack, I was in the middle of buying a bag of bras on Ebay.


Liz: You're off the leash Tracy.
Tracy: It's not a leash. It's a very long skin tag.

You know what your wife told me in the shower this morning? You're a good guy.


Oh please, don't kill me. I still haven't tried the famous seafood pizza at Sally's in New Haven.


Kenneth and I had to spend the rest of the afternoon trying to think like Tracy. I ended up eating a swordfish dinner at a strip club and Kenneth grabbed a cop's gun and shot a blimp.


Jenna: Jack, can we talk, one ten to another?
Jack: I'm an eleven, but continue.

I'll get in my bra and you can throw nails at me.


Pete: Take out from Hooters!
Frank: That makes no sense.
Pete: We'll know they touched it!

Pete: What? No you can't do that!
Jenna: That's what your wife told me in the shower this morning.

We're not laughing with you. We're laughing at you, ya bald bitch.


Pete: I'm the producer of the show.
Reggie: Right, that's what your wife told me in the shower this morning.

We produce more failed pilots than the French Air Force.


30 Rock Season 5 Quotes

Don't do impressions of other racists.


I believe that our founding fathers had it right. We need to get back to their America. No paved roads, rum used as an anesthetic, legalize slavery.