30 Rock

30 Rock Season 5 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 5 Episode 10: "Christmas Attack Zone"

Milton: Think of what I've lost...going on father and son habitat for humanity builds, and road trips in my VW van.
Jack: Yeah, or other things.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Liz: Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Milton: By the way we have a tradition in my family where we let the child name itself.
Jack: Absolutely not.
Milton: Well suit yourself, but my son Spiderman turned out just fine.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Liz: Jack what are you doing? You promised me a drama free dinner. I could be sitting at the corner table at the K-Mart Cafe right now.
 • Rating: Unrated

Liz: I've never seen her this upset since Hurricane Katrina. The coverage pre-empted a tampon commercial she was in.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: I know some things you've done that you would not want me to bring up right now.
Colleen: Most people thought I was a hero for killing Lydia's parrot.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jack: I knew you would do this...take a happy moment and ruin it, just like you did when I won that scholarship at my high school graduation.
Colleen: It should've gone to the other boy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Colleen: I didn't care much for the gazpacho soup. I mean where's the fun of sending it back because it isn't hot?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tracy: I gotta stay serious. From now on the only movies Tracy Jordan makes are about the Holocaust, Georgia O'Keefe, or both.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kenneth: Obesity is killing the African-American community...with laughter.
 • Rating: Unrated

Avery: The symbol on the Jessup family crest is a knight refusing to talk about his feelings.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: We Donaghys believe that when there is something at all delicate to talk about it is best to suppress it...until it erupts into a fist fight at a church barbecue.
 • Rating: Unrated

Liz [to Avery]: I was going to bring dessert tomorrow, so are there any foods that are making you nauseous lately? Please don't say a half sleeve of Oreos.
 • Rating: Unrated

Avery: Happy Holidays...is what terrorists say. Merry Christmas- Avery and Jack.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pete: Ever since Tracy got nominated for a Golden Globe, he thinks he's Sean Penn.
Liz: Well they both have had screaming fights with Wyclef Jean.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Liz: It's my new thing, travel on Christmas Day. That way I avoid the annual Lemon family blow up, and this year it's going to be a doozy. My aunt Linda is bringing her new boyfriend who is neither her age nor her race, and her ex-husband will also be there with his date...alcoholism. I swoop in the next day for presents and pie.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 9: "Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish"

Paul: I'm saying, adopting a dog so it can watch us make love and then returning it, claiming that it bit our imaginary child, is everything that I need, but if that's not enough for you tell me now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Paul: Why can't we just paint each others' toe nails, watch vintage pornography, and then go to bed in our swing like a normal couple?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Kenneth: It was Harold, and I ate all of him. Even the face in case of a tie. I ate him sir! I ate my father pig!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Donald: I got other ideas...like a micro brewery that also serves frozen yogurt. I'm a call it, Microsoft.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

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