Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

Entertainment for the poor, that's what my mother always called children.

Hank

You look like America's next top smurf.

Hank

Rick Springfield: I made a girl come seven times once.
Marcy: Over the course of an entire relationship?

What are you doing moping in the fridge, 80's pop legend Rick Springfield is stealing your girl - not Jesse's girl - Runkle's girl.

Hank

Sue: To you the glass is always half empty!
Charlie: Right now my wife is half full or Rick Springfield.

Becca: Do you know what it's like to have no one and nothing, how totally awful that feels?
Hank: Yes, I think I do. Once upon a time I felt like that, but now I have you.
Becca: Yet somehow I still have nothing.

Karen: I like you like this.
Hank: What, all defeated and shit?
Karen: Yes!

I don't get it Becs, what could possibly be so awful about visiting the woman who pushed you through her magnificent vagina - in New York, in the fall no less, you're going to be stepping off the plane into a Woody Allen film - and not, not recent Woody Allen, old Woody Allen, Annie Hall, Manhattan Woody Allen.

Hank

Just warning you! Something post-pubescent and wicked your way comes.

Hank
Displaying quotes 37 - 45 of 74 in total