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Californication

I think we should kill someone tonight. I mean like a hobo or something.

Eddie

Until you have savored both sexes, until you know how to make both of them come like baby gorillas? You don't know shit from Shinola.

Eddie

Agent, get us some whores.

Eddie

Work is a cruel mistress.

Stu

It's decided then, I'm going out tonight. Like Zig, I'm jerkin myself to Jesus.

Hank

Your attorney dumped you? How does that even happen?

Karen

Hank: How is she? OK?
Karen: OK? What does that even mean at this point?
Hank: What do you want from me Karen? Look around, welcome to rock bottom.

I can't help it if some cock tard in a fedora takes a picture at the exact wrong moment.

Hank

Abby: I think I'm actually seeing some of that Hank Moody mojo up close and personal.
Hank: Is my dong out?

She's really fucked up, Hank. I can't wait to play her.

Sasha

Hank, you might consider smiling a little more often, it uh, got me kind of wet.

Abby

Charlie: I hurt myself.
Marci: What, you get shampoo in your pee hole again?

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 116 in total

Californication Season 4 Quotes

Remember how fast my masturbation video spread? That was unnerving.

Charlie

Hank: What's that look?
Charlie: What look?
Hank: That shifty somewhat cunty look of yours.

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