Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

Hank: I'm a writer Sasha not a fuck toy.
Sasha: Don't look now but your manpon string is hanging out.

Fucking sequels.

Director

Hank: I feel a hate crime coming on.
Charlie: Don't be hatin' on the good news dance.

What is a hairy scary A-lister to do? She calls the Marster over there and what does Marci do? She accidentally tears off a piece of Nicole's labia. Majora not minora, but there's blood everywhere. The movie shuts down.

Charlie

I don't do balls.

Marcy

What is it like to stare into the business end of Sandy Bullocks vagina? This woman knows.

Stu

You're like a bald Benjamin Button aging in reverse. You're going to die a big pink quivering Jell-O, baby come on!

Marcy

Marci: It's nice to be with a grown up for once.
Charlie: I used to be a grown up...once.

You made your bed, and then you fucked me in it.

Abby
Displaying quotes 46 - 54 of 116 in total