Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes
Gabrielle: Hi, there.
Mary Alice: I'm Mary Alice. This is Susan, uh, Lynette and Bree.
Susan: Welcome to the neighborhood.
Gabrielle: Well, I am Gabrielle Solis.
Lynette: Would it be better if we came back at another time?
Gabrielle: Oh! No, no. I was... just changing out of my sweaty clothes. I didn't realize moving was such great cardio.
- Permalink: Hello? Hi, there. I'm Mary Alice. This is Susan, uh, Lynette...
Sally: Boy, do I feel for you. Trying to convince your friends that you're still normal, and you're surrounded by a bunch of loons.
Bree: You, too?
Sally: Oh, please. Dr. Barr goes out of his way to make me feel like a complete psychopath. I think he's crazier than the patients, actually.
Bree: You know that, um, that woman in the wheelchair? What's her story?
Sally: Yeah, she's a kooky one. She hasn't spoken a word since she got here. She just sits there all day long waiting for your friend to come and visit. He talks to her for hours, but I don't even think she can hear him.
- Permalink: Boy, do I feel for you. Trying to convince your friends that you...
Rex: Feel free to be harsh.
Mary Alice: Um, No, I'm... I'm good.
Bree: Well, now that we've finished with all this unpleasantness, I want to assure you that we are going to be good neighbors, and I hope in time, great friends.
Mary Alice: That sounds... lovely.
Bree: (to Andrew) Come on.
Mary Alice: Oh, wait. I'm--I'm sorry. It was Rex, Andrew and... what was your name again?
- Permalink: Feel free to be harsh. Um, No, I'm... I'm good. Well, now th...
Susan: What's the catch?
Karl: There's no catch. It's yours, Susie. Yours and Julie's. No strings attached.
Susan: I can't accept this. I just I gotta get out of this mess on my own.
Karl: This is not charity. I owe you... for everything I've done over the years, for all the heartache I've inflicted on you. Consider it payback.
Julie: Mom! There's a pool and a jacuzzi!
Karl: At least no one can drive off with it while you're sleeping, huh?
- Permalink: What's the catch? There's no catch. It's yours, Susie. Yours a...
Carlos: Hey, what are you doing?
Gabrielle: Trying to have sex with you.
Carlos: Now? Babe, it's kind of late.
Gabrielle: You don't wanna have sex with me? You always wanna have sex with me. You wanted to have sex with me an hour after your hernia operation.
Carlos: I'm a little preoccupied. A good man died today. Don't take it personally.
- Permalink: Hey, what are you doing? Trying to have sex with you. Now? B...
Tennis Pro: You've got a great swing. You just need a little help around the greens. You know what they say drive for show, putt for dough. Am I right?
Gabrielle: That is so true.
Tennis Pro: All right. I'll see you out there.
- Permalink: You've got a great swing. You just need a little help around the...
Carlos: Hey, babe, we haven't tried it in the kitchen yet.
Gabrielle: Honey, uh, I think it's time to unpack the pants.
Carlos: Right. It's nice to meet you ladies.
Mary Alice: Let me guess newlyweds?
Gabrielle: Four months, and I've dressed like this for two of them. He's insatiable.
- Permalink: Hey, babe, we haven't tried it in the kitchen yet. Honey, uh, ...
Zach: Look,I know it's an expensive car, but I need one, so can I get the money?
Noah: You're a lousy liar, kid. I read the papers. I know what happened to your father. My guess is he's in the market for a fancy lawyer to get him some rich man's justice.
Noah: Paul Young put Deirdre in a box. My daughter. Your mother, so we're clear, I don't write checks to monsters.
Zach: Why can't you just give me the money? You're dying. You don't need it. I do.
- Permalink: Look,I know it's an expensive car, but I need one, so can I get ...
Karl: What the hell is this?
Susan: Karl, what do you want?
Karl: Well, I can't believe you're forcing our daughter to live in a house with wheels. I think we need to talk about this.
Susan: It's temporary, and if you don't mind, I'm having coffee
Mike: Oh, it's okay, Susan.
Karl: Hey, sorry. I don't mean to chase you out, buddy, but, uh, this is really a family thing.
Mike: No, no, I understand.
- Permalink: What the hell is this? Karl, what do you want? Well, I can't...
Bree: This is my husband Rex.
Rex:Hi. We're not weird. We just seem like we are.
Bree: And this is my son... the criminal. Go on.
Young Andrew: I'm sorry I stole from you. Just so you know, my mom did teach me right from wrong, so my actions should in no way influence your opinion of her as a parent.
Bree: Well, is there anything you'd like to say to my son?
- Permalink: This is my husband Rex. Hi. We're not weird. We just seem like ...
Gabrielle: Xiao-Mei, how did you rip your panties?
Xiao-Mei: I fall down.
- Permalink: Xiao-Mei, how did you rip your panties? I fall down.
For God sakes, Gabrielle, Ralph just died, and you're worried about my feet? I mean, what the hell is wrong with you?Carlos
- Permalink: For God sakes, Gabrielle, Ralph just died, and you're worried ab...
Mike: You know, I had the feeling when I first saw you in the movie theater that we'd met before.
Orson: I don't think so.
Mike: Oh, I'm pretty sure. I think I know you. Any chance I was one of your guinea pigs?
Orson: No, the only prison work I did was back in Virginia.
Mike: Diploma says you graduated from Minnesota.
Orson: I'm licensed in three states. Open wide, please. Don't talk. I wouldn't want to hurt you.
- Permalink: You know, I had the feeling when I first saw you in the movie th...
George: Hey, fancy seeing you here. I was just out for a little ride.
Bree: Don't lie to me, George. You've been riding up and down this street for the last hour.
George: I don't want to do this, Bree, but you won't return any of my phone calls.
Bree: So stalking me is plan B?
(Bree gets into her car. George gets off the bike and goes to her car window)
George: Bree, I know I messed up. I know I got some issues to work on, but I'd be willing to see a therapist if that's what you want. I'll do anything but how can I show you that I, I can change if you don't give me a second chance? Come on. You know I'm not a bad person.
Bree: I do know that, but I'm just not sure you're a good one, either.
- Permalink: Hey, fancy seeing you here. I was just out for a little ride. ...