Lois: Chris, have you been drinking?
Chris: Yes, have you been aging?

• Permalink: Chris, have you been drinking? Yes, have you been aging?
• Rating: Unrated

Carol: Helloo!
Mayor West: Well dot dot dot hello!

• Permalink: Helloo! Well dot dot dot hello!
• Rating: Unrated

(Connie opens closet door revealing Chris and Meg making out, the stop look out outside, and at each other.)
Meg: Chris?
Chris: Meg?
(they both back away from each other, screaming.)
Meg: OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Chris: TRYING GRAB SOME BOOBS!
Meg: FROM YOUR SISTER?
Chris: I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU!
Meg: WELL, WHO DID THINK IT WAS?
Chris: SOME BITCH, WHO CARES!
Meg: UHH...OH MY GOD! AND WE DID SO MUCH!
Chris: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Meg WE'RE DISGUSTING! WE'RE A DISGRACE TO OUR FAMILY!
(Bill Chilton, comes in in his tights)
Bill Chilton: Ahh.. maybe I can get on this.

• Permalink: Chris? Meg? OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? TRYING G...
• Rating: Unrated

Brian: Oh my god!
Priest: Ahem, a tip is customary.

• Permalink: Oh my god! Ahem, a tip is customary.
• Rating: Unrated

Joe hates to fly because they always put him underneath with the dogs

Bonnie

• Permalink: Joe hates to fly because they always put him underneath with the...
• Rating: Unrated

Frenchman: My intention is to void myself on you.
Bonnie: Ohh, I'd almost forgotten what it's like to be romanced.
Frenchman: My stool will sleep alone tonight.

• Permalink: My intention is to void myself on you. Ohh, I'd almost forgott...
• Rating: Unrated

I invited you on this trip to hang out while I have sex with strangers and this is how you repay me?

Bonnie

• Permalink: I invited you on this trip to hang out while I have sex with str...
• Rating: Unrated

Bonnie: Well, it is tempting. Paris is such a perfect city.
Frenchman 2: Well, that is not entirely true. We have a lot of mime on mime violence.

• Permalink: Well, it is tempting. Paris is such a perfect city. Well, that...
• Rating: Unrated

Hey Leia, you got a date to we-killed-thousands-of-people dance tonight?

Peter

• Permalink: Hey Leia, you got a date to we-killed-thousands-of-people dance ...
• Rating: Unrated

Carter: If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed.
Chris: Oh yea? You and what lightning hands?

• Permalink: If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed. Oh yea? You...
• Rating: Unrated

Can we at least put together a press release that says I resigned of my own accord to pursue other evil projects?

Stewie

• Permalink: Can we at least put together a press release that says I resigne...
• Rating: Unrated

Peter: Whoa, what the hell are these? Hamsters?
Quagmire: They're adorable!

• Permalink: Whoa, what the hell are these? Hamsters? They're adorable!
• Rating: Unrated