Ruth: Hey, you wanna dance around like morons to loud music?
Meg: I'll be right back! I've been holding in a dump since America.

• Permalink: Hey, you wanna dance around like morons to loud music? I'll be...
• Rating: Unrated

Brian: You're the only one who's got the knowhow and the technology to help us track her down.
Stewie: Interesting. Last week, all my gadgets were, hooey I think was the word.
Brian: I didn't say...
Stewie: I SAID HOOEY!

• Permalink: You're the only one who's got the knowhow and the technology to ...
• Rating: Unrated

Lois: Wow, congratulations on your grand re-opening, Mort! Looks like your customers are coming back!
Mort: Thanks, Lois! It's good to be up and gouging again!

• Permalink: Wow, congratulations on your grand re-opening, Mort! Looks like ...
• Rating: Unrated

Carter: The government wants to tell you how many children you can have!
Herbert: What? No!

• Permalink: The government wants to tell you how many children you can have!...
• Rating: Unrated

Without government, I'm free to take a lot of mescaline and drive to Vegas!

Chris

• Permalink: Without government, I'm free to take a lot of mescaline and driv...
• Rating: Unrated

Neville: Wanker!
Prince Charles: Yes, I know!

• Permalink: Wanker! Yes, I know!
• Rating: Unrated

That's right, Joyce, apparently there were over 100 kilos of cocaine right here in Quahog. And yet my guy can't get dick.

Tom Tucker

• Permalink: That's right, Joyce, apparently there were over 100 kilos of coc...
• Rating: Unrated

If he's such a bad guy, why's he on a magazine?

Peter

• Permalink: If he's such a bad guy, why's he on a magazine?
• Rating: Unrated

Lois: Peter, will you stop being so jealous? I dated Ross 20 years ago.
Peter: That's right, that means he had you first, Lois. I'll always be Scottie Pippen to his Michael Jordan.

• Permalink: Peter, will you stop being so jealous? I dated Ross 20 years ago...
• Rating: Unrated

Hey, it's cooked food in another house. That's exciting for light older women like me.

Lois

• Permalink: Hey, it's cooked food in another house. That's exciting for ligh...
• Rating: Unrated

Ross Fishman: No family is closer than ours. That's why we love taking trips together. Here we are in Machu Picchu.
Peter: Is that the topless place in South Attleboro? I spat on a chick there at a work retreat.

• Permalink: No family is closer than ours. That's why we love taking trips t...
• Rating: Unrated

Peter: Truth is, I don't know nothing about this place. I don't even know why it's called Nepal. [Cutaway]
God: These mountains look like nipples.
Jesus: Well you can't just call a country Nipples.
God: How about, "Nepal?"
Jesus: Ooh, I like that.
God: Shocker, God gets it right.

• Permalink: Truth is, I don't know nothing about this place. I don't even kn...
• Rating: Unrated